Watch out, this one is a monster! I started it before the wedding, probably Nov. 19, and finished it on Dec. 17 or thereabouts. If you wanted to know details about the wedding and the honeymoon, this is where to get them! So, let's rock and roll!
Nov. 17
In one week I’m getting married. What a statement. It’s becoming kind of real at this point because I have the marriage license, I’ve put in to change my name at work, I’ve done the paperwork to add Mitch to my benefits, and he’s slowly but surely moving in to my apartment. All the parents plus Adrienne will be up this weekend to help haul boxes and take home what we can’t fit, which I’m looking forward to more than anything at this point. Because we don’t know anyone, we never have company, so this is a chance for me to use more than just the top two dinner plates in the stack and more than just the two front and center glasses. After all, we registered for gifts with our families in mind – will we have enough dishes when Mitch’s brother, sisters, and parents come up to visit? Being in a small apartment, I doubt that large of a crowd will descend upon us any time soon, but it’s always good to be prepared, right?
This is dorky, but I’ve had fun planning the menu for the weekend. It’s just Mitch and I for dinner this evening, but tomorrow I’m going to make spaghetti for everyone and after dinner we’ll break out the fondue set Carla gave us as a shower gift. I’m super excited…I just have a few more things to get at the grocery store after work and then I’ll be all set. Actually, I have quite a bit to get done before everyone shows up. I have to go to the bank to deposit my paycheck and get some money, then to Walmart to get sheets and pillowcases for what will become the guest bed and possibly a cabinet for our bathroom, then to Meijer for the additional food and some other necessities and finally to Rite-Aid to pick up a prescription so my hands don’t turn white when it’s cold out. Then it’s time to clean the apartment top to bottom, make some dinner for Mitch and myself and return a stack of books to the library. Adrienne will be here between 7:00 and 7:30 pm, but I’m not expecting my parents until 9:00 pm. I’m so very excited to have everyone coming to visit; I mean, Mitch and Chip are good company, but there’s only so much a guy and a kitten can really do to ease loneliness.
As I was writing this, one of my coworkers came down to chat. The whole department, all four of us, went out for lunch to celebrate the upcoming wedding, but little did I know they had another surprise for me. Anyway, we were sitting around and her beeper went off, so she checked it and said, “Oh, they’re ready for us to come down and stuff envelopes.” We had talked about a mailing that had to go out today and I offered to help get it ready, so I was like, “OK,” and was relieved that I might have something to take up at least a few minutes of the day. So we start walking down to their offices and we go to one of the meeting rooms instead because she says we’re going to work in there. Well, the room was filled with other people from our floor and some from administration, and there was a cake, a balloon and some cards for me! “Surprise!” yells everyone and I’m just blown away. Turns out my boss and his daughters made the cake for me, which looked like a mini tiered wedding cake. Him and the other girls from the department also got Mitch and me a $60 gift card to Moosejaw…how nice! So we got to sit around, eating and chatting. I really do work with some great people and sometimes that makes me feel bad about wanting to leave so badly. I’m pretty sure I will never again have a boss who will bake me a cake, at least not one this intricate and creative, or coworkers who are as fun as Shannon and Lauren, but this job really just is not for me. Still, at least I work with great people so it’s not horrible to come into work every day.
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Sometime after the wedding and hoenymoon
On my wedding day, I woke up determined to have both a normal day and a special day. Normal because I wasn’t going to get all crazy or emotional, special because I wanted to have a wonderful day full of special memories to cherish forever. And I got my wish, a million times over.
Some funny things happened along the way. I left my engagement ring at the nail salon after my manicure, but that was OK because Carla (Mitch’s mom) and Minda (his oldest sister) were still there and picked it up for me when I called them. The luggage for our honeymoon would not fit in the trunk of the Thunderbird Mitch and I rented to drive from the church to the hall and the hall to the airport, so we had to take my parents’ Explorer to the airport instead. I forgot to paint my toenails, so right before the ceremony, Aunt Mary ran to the nearest drugstore and Amanda painted my toenails at the church. Dad brought his Billy Bob teeth and wore them around before the ceremony, even for some pictures. And Weston ripped off his boutonnière right before it was time for him to walk down the aisle with Anya. I look back on all of those things with joy because they gave the day character!
There were so many precious moments that night, too. Adrienne’s kiss on the cheek right before we started the processional. Walking proudly down the aisle with my dad. Seeing Mitch’s smile, looking into his eyes without saying a word for the longest time. Listening to Marc play, making our vows, kissing the sweetest kiss there ever was.
At the reception, we had the best time. Of course I’ll never forget our first dance and the way we mixed it up by randomly switching partners near the end, or dancing with my dad, but some of the unexpected moments were even sweeter. One thing I’ll never forget is dancing to Garth Brooks’ “Friends in Low Places” with my other little brother, Pat Duncan. Ever since his dad, Dave, passed away almost two years ago, him and Bobby have not been as close as they were when they were younger. The most poignant picture I have from his funeral is Pat and Bobby hugging each other and sobbing, because in a way, they had both lost a father that day. But this dance was all joy, just like houseboating in the summer or skiing in the winter. Neither of us can carry a tune in a wheel barrel, but we were both belting out the lyrics at the tops of our lungs. I saw all my friends in a huge circle, doing the same thing, but all I wanted was to be swaying around sporadically with this little-boy-turned-young-man, who used to moon me along with my own brother. No matter where life takes me, or him, he’ll always be my second bro.
I know all our friends had a good time, or at least, that’s all I’ve heard. Pete told us that our wedding was the best time he’s had since he was in Austria. Jon Davenport asked where my mom was and then proceeded to grab her for a dance. Gary called me “Mom” as usual and said that since I was married, he wasn’t a bastard anymore. (He calls me mom because I always take care of him when we are on trips.) Bobby wouldn’t let me leave until he got a slow dance, too, but of course I had dragged him on the dance floor earlier for some fast dancing, too. Ryan Roma, my best guy friend from high school, caught the garter and my cousin Jenna caught the bouquet. The look on my Uncle Tony’s face was priceless when it flew right into her hands!
I was good, too. I didn’t cry when my dad gave me away, I didn’t tear up more than a little at the altar with Mitch. I almost cried during Adrienne’s toast, I cried a little when Grandpa Eccles said the blessing and I cried a bit more with Deb as we agreed that Dave was there in spirit and was proud of me. I didn’t cry during our first dance as husband and wife or during the daddy daughter dance. I did cry when I got back to our apartment after the honeymoon and set up the Precious Moments nativity scene my mom got us. (When we were little, it was a big deal between my brother and me to see who got to set up Baby Jesus.) But I’m getting ahead of myself there.
I followed all the traditions, too: I carried Grandma Eccles’ prayer book with me as my something old, my dress was my something new, wore my mom’s pearl pendant as my something borrowed and had cute little blue panties as my something blue. Some things, though, we came up with on our own. We picked a non-traditional wedding reading (Ephesians 4:2-6) and had Marc play a Ten Shekel Shirt song at the ceremony. We chose our own song for the entrance at the hall (“I’m a Believer” by Smashmouth) and cut the cake to “I’ve Always Loved You” by Third Day. Our dinner music was a collection of Caedmon’s Call and Jars of Clay songs, with a little Third Day mixed in for spice. We did our best to make our wedding celebration truly “ours” while still following some traditions.
I have to put a plug in here for all our vendors, too. Baker’s of Milford was a great place to have the reception; everything ran smoothly and I didn’t have to think about anything. Sarah Sherman did the most beautiful flower arrangements ever and Dayna Johnston’s cake was beautiful and tasty. Our DJ, Martin from Mike Staff Productions, “kept the party going,” as all their ads promise, and though I haven’t seen our professional pictures yet, Melissa Dundas and her assistant, Brad, were awesome as well. Our family and friends also did a tremendous job setting things up and taking them down as well (even though I was out the door by the time stuff was being put away). Special thanks to Aunt Shari, Deb and Lindsay Hall, who set up beforehand, and everyone who stuck around to help out at the end!
After the reception, some other adventures began. Mitch had agreed to take me back to my parents’ house before going to the hotel so I could unload my memory card onto their computer (Kristy was awesome about taking pictures for me all night long), but when we got there, I discovered I did not have my keys and the hidden key was not where it should have been. So I ran back to the car, shivering, and waited for my parents to come home.
Finally we were on the road, making the half-hour drive to the Marriott near Detroit Metro Airport. I was dog-tired but happy to get all the bobby-pins out of my hair. I was looking forward to seeing our room, which Amanda's husband and brother and Adrienne's boyfriend had decorated for us under the direction (we thought) of Adrienne and Amanda. I was hoping something nice and romantic would spark a good mood, but when we arrived we found porn all over the floor, a huge negligee hanging from a picture on the wall, a scary-looking vibrator and a blow-up doll on the bed! Apparently the boys took some liberties with their decorating task! We stuffed everything (minus the porn) in a duffel bag to be sent home with my parents in the morning so we could extract our revenge at a later date, did what was expected of a newlywed couple on their wedding night and hit the pillows for less than 2 hours of sleep.
The flight was uneventful and when we got to our hotel in the Riviera Maya, we were excited to find our room all ready for us! Well, mainly we were tired and just relieved that we wouldn't have to sleep on the lobby couches or the lounge chairs by the pool. We got some lunch and crawled under the covers...but we were sleeping naked so when room service came to give us a special honeymooners platter or fruit, Mitch was frantically trying to pull on a pair of shorts and I was groggily making sure I was somewhat covered.
After a meeting with our Apple Vacations representative, we decided to book three tours, which would give us plenty of time to enjoy the resort and do some shopping in Playa del Carmen, which was only about 3 miles away. Well, after spending Sunday trying to lounge, we decided we needed a fourth tour or we were going to go crazy - apparently we can't relax, even with a gorgeous beach, a nice pool and all the alcohol you could ever want. I kid you not: there were about 5 bars just in our resort and we had access to three other resorts on the same strip for use of their bars and restaurants. Also, our room had a "mini" bar, which consisted of four fifths of liquor refilled every other day. We didn't do a very good job taking advantage of all this, though, and had maybe 5 drinks between the two of us the whole time, other than Mitch's wine at dinner.
Our first tour took us to Chichen Itza, which was awesome. We didn't get to see a sunset from the top of the pyramid (Side note: we were instructed that it was not a pyramid since it does not come to a point at the top; rather, we should call it a necropolis) but the view was amazing. It was pretty breezy when we got up there, so a lot of people were basically hugging the walls, but Mitch and I were pretty comfortable with the height. He basically ran down the steps when we were ready to head back to earth while all the rest of us were being a bit more cautious. When we went to lunch a few miles away, we got to swim in a natural pool fed by an underground river, which was sooooo refreshing after the sun and heat.
The next day, Tuesday, we went shopping in Playa del Carmen and got some Christmas gifts for family and friends. Unfortunately, we are not very good at bargaining, so we probably spent more than we needed to, really, but we got some nice things. My favorite stuff was the bright colored pottery with chili peppers all over it. We bought quite a few pieces as gifts and then got a plate for ourselves as well.
On Wednesday we went to a ranch and drove ATVs through the jungle and on the beach. Whenever we ride at Mitch's house, he usually lets me sit on the back of his, but with the heat and his desire to ride really hard, I drove my own. It was a manual so I had to get used to switching gears, but I thought I was doing really well. We were on kind of a seasonal road-sized trail heading out to the beach and I was with the beginner group, dodging potholes and thinking, "I wish the people in front of me would go faster!" Moments later, I was flying off my quad because I hit a big rock on the edge of the trail while trying to go around a pothole. Great. The result was a nice palm-sized bruise right below my hipbone, a really sore, swollen elbow and a stiff, scraped shoulder. I managed to drive the rest of the two hours but once we got back to the hotel I could barely stand to bend my elbow at all. I spent the rest of the night sitting on the bed resting my elbow on a big bag of ice. How romantic!
Thursday was snorkeling day, and I think the gentle movements in the water really helped my boo-boos. We went three places: a sinkhole, some undergound caves and an ocean inlet. We saw the coolest fish, by far, in the ocean but I really liked the caves because they were so neat. Our guide's name was Jesus (Hay-suess), which reminded me of an Alma College bouldering route named Jesus (same pronunciation) Christo. Anyway, he was fun and didn't make us wear lifejackets for our hour and a half ocean swim.
We were planning to spend the last day of our honeymoon relaxing, but after that first day where we were kind of bored, we signed up to drive a Jeep around Cozumel all day long. I think that might have been my favorite excursion; we took the ferry over to the island, then hopped in our Jeeps and drove to a beach for some snorkeling. We were driving with a really nice couple form Wisconsin, but they had forgotten to bring their drivers' licenses so Mitch drove the whole time. The wife had never been snorkeling before and her husband refused to go because he couldn't swim well, so we hung out with her and had a blast watching her get so excited over everything. After snorkeling we rinsed off and changed into dry clothes (I hate being wet unless I'm in the water, and I hate being salty-wet even more than that!) and drove to a Mayan village where we got a bit of history and took some pictures. Then it was time to go to lunch, where Mitch met a bird who was infatuated with his sunglasses. We finished off the day with a drive to the open side of the island to check out some cool rock formations. We desperately wanted to climb them but the water was really rough and we'd probably get smashed up against the rocks if we fell in. Mitch, though, decided to go to the very edge and try to catch a crab that was chilling in a little pool on the rocks. Apparently he asked me to warn him if a big wave was coming, but I never heard that, so I had my camera poised and ready as a big one came rolling in. I have a GREAT shot of him scrambling away from the edge as a wave crashed up and soaked him!
We were definitely ready to go home on Saturday, but no, our flight was delayed 4 hours because the pilot called in sick and they needed a replacement for him and someone else who was supposed to be training that day. We finally got home around 6 pm, started our massive piles of laundry and crashed hardcore. It was very strange sleeping in the same bed with Mitch at my parents' house, but I'll get used to it. On Sunday morning we got to open all our gifts and cards with my parents, Mitch's parents and all four of my grandparents, then we drove back to the Great North.
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Dec. 17
Yeah, it’s the first big snow of the season and I’m right in the thick of it! We’ve been getting snow all week long here and I’m pumped, except when I have to drive the Probe. Then the only things being pumped are my brakes, which are not anti-lock. There has been more than one experience of my back end sliding out sideways while attempting to stop that last little bit, but I’m getting better at it!
Tonight Mitch and I are headed to Aunt Shari and Uncle John’s “lodge” in Boyne City to join 36 high school racers, my brother, my cousin and one other SLHS alumni racer. We’ll ski at Boyne Mountain tomorrow and then just head back down here, but next week we hope to be out at Caberfae a ton, taking advantage of Bobby’s awesome Christmas/wedding gift, a season pass for each of us!
Just a brief update on the job situation here: I have started being proactive about looking into other options in a number of ways, because things are not really getting much better. Number one, I wrote a letter to the United Way in Traverse City to see about volunteering in a marketing capacity either with them or one of their partner organizations. Why Traverse and not Cadillac? Simple: staffs are larger in TC, there are more national organizations there and there is a better chance that a job could eventually come out of volunteering. Number two, I applied for a job at the Cadillac Area Chamber of Commerce. It’s for a director of membership services position, not marketing or anything, but I thought it sounded interesting. So we’ll see where that leads. My next two steps, which I’ll start with after the holidays, are (1) to touch base with the vice president of the Traverse City Chamber and send her my new resume and contact information, since I now have a new name and (2) to call some family friends in Traverse for dinner, during which I will pick their brains and see if they have any suggestions. Just having a plan and doing something makes me feel significantly better, though it’s still a challenge to get through days when there is nothing to do.
On a more festive note, Mitch and I decorated our Christmas tree, finally. We cut it last weekend with his parents and had quite the adventure trying to put it up. First event: had to shake out the excess pine needles in our apartment, so we had a huge mess to vacuum up right off the bat, but the bag was full, so I had to go out and find another one. They didn't have any at Glen's so Mitch just dumped the bag out and put it in again. Not exactly the way you're supposed to do it, but it kind of worked. Second event: went to put the lights up and discovered that out of our four strings of clear lights, one did not work and one had white wires instead of green ones. I sent Mitch out this time, to Rite-Aid, but he came back with these funny shaped lights that just had little round balls on the end. So I told him to pack for Grand Rapids (he had to spend four days down there taking a class to prepare for his insurance license test thingy) and I went to Meijer to get lights and vacuum cleaner bags. Third event: we did not cut off enough branches along the bottom of the tree, so we had a bunch just laying on the carpet. So after Mitch left for GR around 6 pm, I went back to Meijer and bought a hacksaw, crawled under the extremely pokey Scotch pine and started sawing off branches. Fourth event: I replaced the vacuum cleaner bag and started to vacuum again but it was not picking up anything. So I flipped it over and found a huge clog in the beater brush, so I had to take it apart, pull out the clog and put it back together. FINALLY, it worked, I got the pine needles all cleaned up and was able to relax. Oh, I forgot to mention the fact that we put the lights on three different times during the course of this fiasco. But Mitch came home yesterday, we put on the Christmas music (he says the Carpenters are not cool…what does he know?) and made our tree all pretty.
It was strange having him gone for four days. Granted, I got a lot done: thank you cards, laundry, Christmas shopping, but it was so quiet without him. It’s like something really important was missing. Just doing the dishes with him last night was more fun than anything I did while he was gone!
Well, if you’ve made it this far in the multi-week entry, you’re probably sick and tired of my rambling! Hopefully I will get more consistent in my posting when we get Internet in our apartment on Monday (!) and you won’t have to endure so much at one time. Just one more thing: Happy Holidays to everyone!
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So now it's Christmas Eve and this is a "real-time" entry. I have today off so I'm just putzing around the apartment cleaning and wrapping gifts. I didn't work yesterday, either, so I made a bunch of Christmas cookies and did the mounds of laundry that were piling up in our bedroom. When Mitch gets home this afternoon, we're heading to my cousin's for the McGrath family celebration. On Christmas the Eccles side is coming over to our house, I think, so it should be a great weekend. The holidays are always wonderful. We've had some rough ones...we've lost some people and we still miss them, but Christmas is the perfect time for us all to remember that no matter what, we all have the greatest gift anyone could ask for.