A full tank of gas for less than 30 minutes

So today I had a job interview in Novi, for a company called the Siler-Milton Group. From their plethora of ads on Yahoo HotJobs, I thought I was applying for a marketing, public relations or events position. With no company website, however, I couldn't learn much more, so I decided to just see what it was all about. I learned if they won't give you some information up front, it's probably best not to waste your time driving three hours for a "preliminary" interview. But I did, and I went, and I interviewed along with another girl. And I found out that I was interviewing for a sales position! (A) Not what I want and (B) something I have no experience in. So the interviewer, presumably one of the boss-men because his last name was Siler, had a super-thick Southern drawl and talked at the speed of light, occasionally stuttering syllables over and over. He asked us a few questions, talked about the job and told us if we made the next round, it would be an all-day interview. He also asked if we would be available the next day...uh, no, I live 3 hours away and have a job that I can't just ditch on a whim. Anyway, after 25 minutes and without giving us the opportunity to ask any of the multiple questions I had for him, he whisked us out the doors and promised to call later that afternoon. Well, seeing as my sales experience is zero, I was safely assuming I would not get called back...which was fine with me because the job is NOT what I am looking for at all. Ha, I underestimate myself. I DID get called back for the next round of interviews and once again, I withdrew my application, explaining that I was interested in marketing communications and public relations rather than sales. The guy said something about believing their employees should learn to sell before they plan a campaign, and I said thanks but no thanks. Now that was worth six hours of driving and a full tank of gas!

Epiphany

I think it’s partially the weather that has me so optimistic right now. Yesterday we had sun, blue skies and 50-degree weather. Today is the same formula, but I’ve been hearing 60 degrees. Oh, heaven! I love winter and the snow, but I’m ready to breathe the fresh spring air. Mitch and I have been biking for the last three days in a row, and it looks like today will probably be number four as long as he gets out of work at a decent time. Over the weekend, we went to my parents’ house and attempted to ride the trails at Island Lake, the state park a few miles from the homestead. Less than a mile into it, however the trail turned to complete snow and we ended up making a quick exit back to the paved trails. Even on Easter, we couldn’t stay away and went back to Island Lake with all intentions of staying on the pavement, but at the back of the park, we saw one of the trails that didn’t look too bad, so we took it knowing the trailhead was less than a mile away. Once again, as soon as we got a decent way in, everything turned to one big sheet of ice. Amazingly, we both made it out without crashing, though there were some close calls.

And speaking of Easter, we had a wonderful time. We went to the church that is sponsoring a family friend, Kristen, in seminary (the same one I visited in Louisville about a month ago) and got to see her and her family. Then there was the biking and a family dinner with my grandparents (mom’s side), my uncle Chris and my cousin Jonathon. We spent the afternoon digging up all the old dirt on the various grandsons, such as who got this MIP and that MIP and who has used Chris’s legal services for what purpose. My poor grandma! She thought most of her grandchildren were absolutely perfect…but it was great for a laugh. After dinner, Mitch and I headed to Alma for Chapel so we could hear Christine preach one more time. It was such a wonderful, creative service and afterwards we got to meet Pete’s parents. His dad gave us a good piece of advice which was especially relevant because we had been discussing our current situation with the jobs and wanting move on the way there. He told us that he regrets settling down with one company so early and advised us to “have a bunch of different jobs and move around.” See, on the way over, we were laying out the pros and cons of staying in Cadillac or pushing forward with this moving thing. Depressingly, all the practical pros encouraged us to suck it up and stay another year or so, so we could have some job security, save money, etc. etc. I was kind of feeling like it was becoming a viable option to do what all of you have been telling me to, which is to apply for the job here and leave once I found something better. Still, though that is the easy, practical route, my conscious was having trouble with that. And the more I thought about it, it would be a short-term solution fraught with risks, ironically. As I was discussing this situation with Lauren yesterday, I brought up the fact that grants are not really going the way the board anticipated them going when they hired me. They assumed there was all this money out there that we could just get for the hospital, but what they did not realize is that no one is going to give them money just to run a hospital. To make improvements, yes, but not just for day-to-day operations. Consequently, though I’ve generated over $40,000 since I’ve been here, most of it has been for the free clinic, which is a separate organization the hospital supports. Granted, that money means that the hospital won’t have to pitch in for those expenses, but that’s an indirect benefit. So what I’m getting at is that I can really see them taking a look at grants again when the next round of layoffs comes and saying, “You know, it would make more financial sense to contract grants out and not keep someone on staff.” Result: new full time combined community relations/grant writing position becomes half time community relations position and I’m back where I started.

All that to say, after getting a dose of hope from the inspirational Chapel service and hearing Pete’s dad’s advice, I was feeling more comfortable with our seemingly impractical course of action. Then I came to work and was discussing it with Lauren, who provided me with another interesting point, one she heard from the head of HR during her exit interview: what would you do if you were not afraid? That sparked some clarity of thought! If I were not afraid, I would follow my instinct and ditch this place. And if I trust in God, I don’t have anything to fear, so I should act as if I were not afraid (even if I am).

P.S.

1. I'm officially the "filler" for the community relations/grantwriting combined job until such time as they hire someone else, which probably won't be 'til May.

2. My cousin Rosie did not get the job for which she was interviewing so the coveted marketing position at the Art Center is still occupied.

3. Everyone thinks I'm an idiot for not applying for the combined position and/or making it so clear that we want to move since that's the reason I can't apply. Live and learn.

4. I like subbing in third grade classrooms.

5. I'm grumpy, emotional and feel like telling the real world to pucker up while I pull down my pants and bend over.

6. It's Holy Week...my focus should be on something greater than myself right now.

Daddy's Girl

Does anyone else feel that, after talking to your father, all logical reasons you had for a particular course of action are immediately thrown out the window because he can quickly identify those impractical, irrational "feelings" that are the core reason you want to do something? And, after listening to a long, lengthy monolgue that, unfortunately, makes complete sense, you are not so sure your rational justifications are enough to make up for the fact that you're being more emotional about a situation than you were raised to be? Therein lies the danger of being a daddy's girl.

More analysis

Ryan, you're right. I went through that exact same line of thinking and it would not really be an option to apply for the position and then ditch it once I found something better. In my conversations with Bryan yesterday, he said outright that he would expect me to unofficially commit to being there for a year or two. Oddly enough, when I called my mom, she took a very un-mom-like stance: that they hired me on in a full time position and I expected to stay full time, but then they cut my hours in half, so I don't really owe them anything. Ultimately, it came down to "they screwed you so go ahead and screw them because it would be in your best interest." I think she's just upset because this is happening to her daughter, but it's weird to hear such a hard-ass standpoint from the woman my dad, brother and I call "St. Joan." But I told her I could not do that, because they really could not control the situation that led to my part time status and they cannot control this situation, either. From a business standpoint, I don't stand a chance here but on the flip side, if they didn't run this place like a business, I'd be disappointed in the management. Maybe that's why they're in this crappy financial situation in the first place, I dunno. Anyway, I felt physically ill from the time my boss told me all this yesterday until Mitch came home and I could talk to him. I sat on his lap and cried and told him I was scared. He gently reminded me that we would never be in a situation we could not handle and that if we make the wrong decision, we would just make a batter one next time. Well, me and wrong decisions seem to go hand in hand when it comes to my career. It was deciding not to take the Chamber job in TC that put me at the mercy of Mercy (haha, get it?), who subsequently realized that they made a mistake in hiring a full time grant writer (which I could have told them after less than a month of work). I guess what this all comes down to is that I'm afraid that the decision Mitch and I have already made - that I'm going to take my chances and not apply for this new position here - will turn out to be the wrong one and I won't be able to find anything else. I'm afraid we won't be financially secure anymore (every business major's WORST nightmare!) and that, pridefully, I will end up taking a job for which I am overqualified. Oh, that darn pride...I know
it's wrong but I can't seem to overcome it.

To top all this off, I'm at work right now and I have absolutely nothing to do until about four different people get back to me. So I'll just get to sit here and think about it, and probably bug people with emails about it, until noon. Isn't St. Patrick's Day supposed to be fun? Today is not fun at all. On a brighter note, though, I get to do my weekly volunteering at the United Way this afternoon...too bad I haven't had time yet to make their newsletter template. Hey, I bet I can do that on the clock here! All right, project time!

Not again...

It seems more difficult decisions are looming on the horizon. I suppose I should be used to them now, at least in the context of job-searching, because I turned down the awesome opportunity at the TC Chamber, then closed the doors on two promising opportunties recently by withdrawing my application after the first round of interviews. So here's the situation: Lauren, the communications specialist here at Mercy, got a new job and will be leaving on April 18th. Bryan (my boss) and I have talked previously about the possibility of transitioning me back to full time and into a position where I would take on some of Lauren's responsibilities and keep doing the grant writing thing while he took over the rest of her job, like working with the media, etc. After telling him I was unable to give him a firm commitment one way or another, I let him know on Tuesday that I was probably going to be leaving because Mitch and I decided to go look heavily in the Ann Arbor area and move as soon as we could. This was when he anticipated having Lauren until July 1st, but she got the new job offer today, which changes things. Let me try to explain: his preferred course of action would be to bump me up to full time next week and have me work with Lauren to transition into her position as a filler for the rest of the month. Then, at the beginning of April, he would like to post the position, which would be some combination of communications and grant writing, and start the hiring process. At this point, I could apply if I was interested, but more than likely I would just fill in until the new person was hired because I am not interested in staying here. That would be a fine plan for me, though I'm not sure how our budget supports bumping me to full time while Lauren is still here, but whatever. Under this model, I would probably be assured a position here until about the end of April (which is my self-imposed deadline anyway) because the hiring process would probably take 4-6 weeks. The hard part is the fact that the final decision on all that is not up to Bryan. He has to meet with John, our CEO, on Monday and fill him in on the situation. From a business stance, it would make the most sense for John to tell Bryan that he has to post the position immediately and have it filled by the time Lauren leaves. That would mean I would not be used as a filler, which is fine, but it also means that I would be out of a job once the new person is hired, which would probably be by mid-April. To be safe and conservative, in that situation, would mean that I should apply for the position and commit to staying here for a couple of years, which is not what Mitch and I want. But I'm a safe and conservative type o' girl...this poses a bit of a dilemma.

I've seen how fast, and how slow, jobs can progress. It took 3 months for me to get hired here, but Lauren got called for an interview on Thursday and had a job offer by Wednesday. That's less than a week. Could something like that happen for me? I just don't know, it's a gamble. On the other hand, I'd been counting on being gone, in one way or another, whether it was in a temporary job or a good job, but July.
Maybe I'd have to move that up a bit and stop being picky right now. But isn't not taking advantage of an opportunity that I'm almost guaranteed to have here being super picky? The only thing is, I would have to unofficially commit to staying here for a good length of time and if I took a boring, office-type job, I could roll out when something better came along. Argh!

All my problems would be solved if the place Rosie, my cousin, recently interviewed at would just offer her the job and Marsha at the Art Center would remember how much she loved me and hire me to take Rosie's place. That optimistic feeling I had when Mitch and I decided moving would be a good choice for us is quickly fading into panic as I struggle with the what-ifs and uncertainties.

Silly

Maybe I'm a goof, but I always use a folder from Alma's Discovering Vocation program to keep track of my job search stuff. It's kind of inspiring, to think of it in terms of finding my vocation, my calling, rather that just a job. Hmmm.

Decision Enforced

It's Monday morning, my day off, and I've kicked the Southeastern Michigan job search into high gear. Mitch and I spent the weekend at my parents' house to celebrate Bobby's 21st birthday, which, by the way, was a riot. Armed with $90 from my parents, we took him and his friend, Pat, to the South Lyon Hotel, Screwie Louie's and finally, the previously-trashy Rhino Dance Pub, which actually was not all that bad. See, the Rhino used to be this skanky place called Rascal's and it's kind of a joke to say you're going there. But after a number of drinks, Bobby thought it was just a GREAT idea, so at about 1:30 am we were heading over there. He definitely did his fair share of drinking thtoughout the evening, but the best part was the "pre-party" with our grandparents, two of whom did a shot with my brother to celebrate. It's way funny watching your 80-year old grandpa toss one back while your 84-year old grandma sips on a shot of SoCo. Aw yeah.

Another high point of the weekend was climbing at Planet Rock with Ross. When we told him we were thinking of moving back, he said, "So how long do you think it will be? Because I don't think I can wait very long!" My grandparents were happy we were considering it and of course, my mom was thrilled. As the weekend progressed, it turned into a "not if, but when" thing for Mitch and I. We're really just not fitting in up here and think we'd be happier down there.

But enough blogging...I need to scour the Internet for jobs, so off I go, on a new adventure.

A Major Decision

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately (yeah, like that’s news) and most of it had to do with my job, Mitch’s job and our future. Let’s try to work out the progression here. Last week Mitch got sent to Traverse City to “get more experience” in one of their branches. Well, he hated it. He did less there than he did in Cadillac, had less responsibility and basically spent most of the week working in the teller line. Now, he’s been performing all the duties of an office manager at the Cadillac office but has not actually received the promotion yet, which was starting to grate on him a bit. They’ve been telling him for months that he would be the new office manager, they wanted to transition him in, blah blah blah, but they’ve been in no hurry to do so. As this is brewing, he has that crappy week in Traverse and kind of gets a taste of what it’s like for me to really not like my job. Those two factors also kind of crack his commitment to Cadillac; when he started, he felt they were really committed to moving him up, etc., but with all the stalling, his sense of loyalty to them is weakening.

Now right about this time, the thought pops into my head that when my cousin Rosie gets her new job, I should apply for her old one, which is the marketing director at the Ann Arbor Art Center. I interned there a few summers ago and the president loved me, so I think I’d have a good shot getting it, with all my experience. Problem: it’s Ann Arbor and Mitch would have to get a new job, too, even though it would probably still be with Fifth Third. Encouragement: Mitch had already been scooping out other 5/3 opportunities after being a bit unhappy about his current situation. I kind of let it stew in my brain for awhile. In fact, I let it stew all weekend (while I was in Indiana) and when I came home, we sat down after dinner and talked about it.

At this point, I kind of knew I wanted to go home. Though Mitch is my best friend, I was lonely for my family, missing my friends and discouraged about meeting new ones here. But I didn’t want to come on really strong and pressure him or manipulate him into getting what I wanted, so we started talking about what we liked about living up here. We were both enthusiastic about all the outdoor recreation – mountain biking, lake, skiing – but I pointed out, and Mitch agreed, that we could have that if we were back down where my parents lived. Skiing not so much, but we’re traveling every weekend as it is. How bad would it be to go up North for a few weekends for some skiing? Plus we could climb more. So that took care of recreation and kind of showed us clearly that, though the natural atmosphere up here was a perk, it was not really enough to base our future plans on.

Next came the whole people thing. We talked about how we know our friends, even those who have graduated and settled down, will be scattered all over the place. But it’s pretty unlikely that they’ll scatter up here, unfortunately. We’ve also discovered that the opportunities to meet people our age here are very, very slim because there are no young people in Cadillac! And those that are here never really left, so we’re pretty different from them, especially in likes and dislikes. They also have their own group of friends already. What kind of surprised me was the fact that I work with a girl who graduated a year ahead of me and moved up here without knowing anyone, too, yet she hasn't made any effort to introduce me to any of the people she hangs out with or help us get used to the area. But that's just a little tangent.

Of course, we discussed the fact that job opportunities are really scarce up in this area, too. In fact, we talked about a lot more things and in the end, we pretty much decided that if I got a job in the Ann Arbor area (we don't want to go east of Novi, because that equals city which equals pretty much horrible) or thereabouts, we would go. I've already applied for two jobs (one at Borders corporate office and one at the Chamber) and will spend my days off next week doing hardcore research. It's more time consuming than looking in GR or TC because I had already identified companies, etc. when I was doing my fresh-out-of-college job search, but at least I know where to start.

So that's the plan for us. Let's see how it unfolds.

Kentuckiana

First of all, thanks to those of you who commented on my last post. It’s always really good to hear when people are feeling similar ways or have a different perspective on the situation.

And speaking of friends, I took a nice mini road trip with Adrienne and her boyfriend, Kyle, last weekend. I left Cadillac on Thursday after work, some frantic brownie-making and a meeting at the United Way, and headed down to Grand Rapids. Instead of going right to Adrienne’s, I dropped my car off at Bobby’s and got some dinner with him before heading down to Higher Ground for some badass climbing. Now, I don’t know if anyone reading this has ever been there, but Mitch and I fell in love with the place on Valentine’s Day 2004 when we joined AC3 for a climbing comp down there. There are three sweet rooms: one with some top roping and the other two strictly for bouldering. There are overhangs and features and all sorts of craziness, all packed into a pretty sketchy warehouse. The atmosphere at the comp was, of course, awesome, but it was just as good this time, just on a smaller scale. Miriam’s brother, Jesse, was working, and we convinced Miriam and her other brother to come down and climb with us. Anyway, we bouldered for about three hours, all the way ‘til close. Everyone else there was so friendly…such a contrast to Planet Rock in Ann Arbor, where you other climbers barely acknowledge your existence. At one point, everyone in the place was packed in the back room watching each other work on about three different routes. It was so much fun, but I killed my fingers, forearms, shoulders…you name it, it was sore! My fingers were so swollen I could barely put my rings on when we were done!

Now after climbing, I was somehow supposed to meet up with Jenn to get together for coffee or something, but the late climbing plus my lack of a car plus my brother’s desire to go party-hardy with his buddies meant that wouldn’t really work out. I did, however, go with Miriam and Jesse to a bar to meet Adrienne and her roommates who were out celebrating a birthday. All in all, the evening worked out well and I work up the next morning ready for more adventure. We drove about five and a half hours down to Nate and Amanda’s and as soon as we got there, they took us to this park in Louisville right along the river. It was kind of strange because there were roads and bridges and skyscrapers all around us, but we had fun throwing the Frisbee around. It made me miss my brief days on Ultimate Frisbee on the Chapel Lawn!

That night we went out to dinner at this pizza place called Wick’s, then went to an Irish pub called O’Shea’s to hear some cover band. Now, I’m not a bar person, as most of you know. I like going out every once in awhile and I like to dance if it’s a dancing-type place, but otherwise, I hate the smoke and the drunks and the obvious non-accidental body contact. Ew. Anyway, to make the situation better, I called my friend Kristen who is attending seminary down there. She’s the daughter of my parents’ friends and our families always cut Christmas trees together. So she and I sat in the back of the bar for most of the night, nursing drinks and chatting about all sorts of stuff. She took off around midnight and I was more than ready to go, too, but we probably didn’t leave for another 45 minutes or so.

The next day more than made up for the bar torture. We went into Kentucky and did some hiking in a really cool park. I was just a bit bummed that we didn’t play more on our hike. It seemed like everyone else was all into “how fast can we do this” and I was like, “Oh, look at the tree that’s fallen across that ravine! Opportunity for adventure and possible injury, let’s go!” I suppose that is partly Mitch’s influence on me, but partly a carry-over from my childhood, too. Oh well, it was nice to be out of the city and breathing the fresh air. I should note that it was really warm down there, compared to up in C-Town. It was probably about 40-45 degrees on Saturday and way warmer on Sunday, but I’ll get to that in a minute.

After our hike, we made some dinner. The whole food thing was annoying almost all weekend, because it was constantly, “Well, will Laurie like that?” They all thought I was weird because my tastes are simple and meaty amongst lactose intolerant vegetarians and their trained significant others. They spent a bit too much time teasing/lecturing me about my unwillingness to “branch out” and my minimal vegetable consumption. But I didn’t starve, nor did I cave. Beef…it’s what’s for dinner! Sorry for the tangent…anyway, much to my relief, we did not go barhopping Saturday night. Instead, we played games. My first experience with Trivial Pursuit was a hugely positive one and I think I might be hooked, as long as I have a partner. We also tried out This vs. That, a group game Santa got us for Christmas. It was pretty fun and so was another one called Would You Rather. Now, I remember Would You Rather as being something we did at sleepovers in elementary school: “Would you rather kiss so-and-so or what’s-his-nuts?” “Ewwwww, I don’t know, that’s gross!” Same idea here.

Sunday was probably my favorite day of all. The sun was shining, the sky was blue and we spent a good four hours in another Louisville park and walking around town. We also went to church in the evening, a community one for younger people called Sojourn. It was pretty much like Chapel, only the music was less acoustic (the only real strike against it, as I’m still pining for good ole’ Chapel Band). Afterwards we hit up this place called Café Lou-Lou’s for dinner, where we ended up entertaining the bartender all evening. He was a pretty cool guy, gave us some breaks on drinks and even turned on The Simpson’s at 8:00 pm. Needless to say, we gave him a monstrous tip.

And that was the end of my trip. We went to bed early on Sunday, got up at the butt crack of dawn on Monday, and drove back to Michigan. I had a lot of fun but I was way glad to get home and see Mitch and Chip. Yes, I missed them both a ton! Thankfully, we have no other plans to spend extended weekends apart for a long time!