I love to drive...

I just got back from my interview in Lansing, and I think it went very well. I was there for three hours, about about an hour and a half of that was spent working on some sample projects they had me do. The press release and the editing went fine, but when I turned to my old friend, Photoshop, to create an ad for the CVB, the computer said, "Oh no you don't!" I lost my work once when it froze, and then I could never get it to be unfrozen enough to do more than choose the background color, insert the logo and type the contact information. No photo, no copy, not even the right adjustments on things. No worries though, everyone was aware of the problem, including the IT guy who tried to fix it for me. I just sketched out my idea and left them with a copy of the brochure I made for my senior thesis to prove yes, I am capable of using the software! It will be a few weeks before they start calling people for second interviews, so let's hope they pick me! Let's also hope that my interview at Alma in two weeks goes even better...I get to make up a 10-minute schpiel (sp?) about Alma and pretend to give it to a prospective student, yippee!

Well, you won't be seeing any blogs from me for the next week, because I'll be hiding away in the mountains. Thank goodness...I really need to get refreshed and leave a lot of the recent stresses at home.

Now, a treat for you: the wonderful Jen C. came up with this great list of how to survive in the woods, and I'm sure you'll all need it at one time or the other, so read on!

The following are some recommendations, (all in the name of clean fun), about low impact rustic camping you may or may not be familiar with:

"How do I _____________ in the woods?"

1. Pee

There is of course some gender dimorphism to urinating in the woods. A few things to keep in mind: Guys, don’t cross the streams. Try and make sure you don’t cross contaminate your unit with the poison ivy you just accidentally touched. Try and go far enough away from the campsite so that people arn’t traipsing through your urine puddle. Carrying hand sanitizer with you might be a good idea if your gunna touch other people or their food. Gals, you don’t need toilet paper to pee. Just pop and squat. To make things easier on yourselves you might use a wonderful product called the wizzer. It allows you to pee standing up because it slips comfortably(?) right under the urethral opening and bobs your uncle your peeing standing up. I’ve never actually seen this done before, but the women on the view gave it rave reviews. Another thing to keep in mind is that urine might sometimes adhere to pubic hair, shortening the effective lifespan of underwear. Removing unnecessary "fuzz" from that area would b e a good idea. I suggest the male mach three, its feels like it gives a closer shave.

2. Poop

The key here is control over circadian urges. If you can train yourself to poop once a day in the morning, then you’re golden. We stop for water and flush toilets every morning. If you have to poop in the woods there are two things you can do. The good thing to do is first make sure that you don’t have any unnecessary ass hair for poop to stick to. This seems to be a bigger problem for the guys. There will be some toilet paper laying around somewhere. You have to throw away toilet paper, you can just leave it lying around on the ground covered in your poop, and God forbid you think it a good idea to throw it on the fire. Put your toilet paper in a grocery bag and tie it and throw it away. Outside pooping is really just like pooping on a toilet except more uncomfortable. Just poop in the morning. You could also poop in the river. (ref. Jon Naile)

3. Eat

Keep track of your garbage! Take nothing but pictures leave nothing but footprints. There is a trashcan in our campsite. We pack all our trash out of the climbing areas.

4. Do it

For those of you who might be sexing it up; set your tents up next to Ben’s parents; a safe distance away from everyone else. Used condoms do not go in the fire; nor does any other trash that is not made of paper for that matter. Remember condoms decrease the risk of urinary tract infections, and dangerous STD’s like HIV and children.

5. Menstruate

The coup de ta of the climbing experience. If your going to be riding the crimson tide do not let that spoil your climbing trip. The club has ziplock bags so that used tampons during the day can be slipped into one of those, packed out, and then deposited in the trash. Tampons should be changed every 4 to 6 hours just to be safe and avoid TSS (a very rare condition). Use a pad overnight; there’s a garbage can where we stay. Because we wont be showering or bathing as regularly as we usually do (except for Caleb who will probably bathe more often than he usually does), so take care to respect your vagina if you’re on your period.

6. Sleep

Sleeping in the woods is fun, especially if you have an “accommodating” tent partner. You need a sleeping bag rated to around 20 or 30 degrees. It might get really cold at night. If your bag isn’t rated that low bring a fleece blanket. Pillows are nice but unnecessary. Just put dirty or clean cloths in your sleeping bag bag. First one awake gets to raise hell and wake everyone else up (and get first dibs on oatmeal flavours).