Bouncing back

First off, Ryan, you are awesome. Thank you so much for your encouragement (and yes I changed my settings, because I was unaware they were not allowing you to post!) and things are getting better. I think I was being overemotional because of the intimidation thing. But I had a nice long crying jag with Mitch, who is wonderful to sit and lsiten to me. He really has a good sense, most of the time, about how much advice to offer and when to just give me a hug. Once I got it all out of my system, I was more rational and calmer. He pointed out that I just have to take things at work one step at a time, so that's how I approached things today and it seemed to be helpful. I also leaned a little more heavily on my boss than I have been doing, because I am not equipped to make major decisions on my own in terms of programs and how to go after funding, and I am also not willing to be a "middle man." By this I mean that I won't go to someone, find out their ideas, take them to Bryan, find out his thoughts, relay them back, and so on. Not yet, because I don't know enough about the way the organization works, etc.

I'd like to say I'll never doubt that I am following God's plan again, but I know that is impossible. I'm pretty fallible. I make a lot of mistakes and it is hard living my life in such a different manner than what I was used to. In fact, it's really only been a year since I consciously took hold of a journey of faith. But I'm learning more each day and God leads me purposely to things and people who will help me.

I'll close with my favorite Bible verse, Jeremiah 29:11. "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."