Does anyone else ever wonder if, "Just be yourself and everyone will like you for who you are?" is really just code for, "I don't particularly like the way you are, so change and I will like you?"
Just wondering. I've had friends drop the "just be yourself" bomb on me when I was pretty darn sure I was being extremely true to myself. Granted, that was quite awhile ago and I'm not quite sure why it popped into my head now. Maybe it's because I'm still acutely aware of not being "myself" (read: the self they want me to be) when I'm around them.
3 comments:
I've always seen that answer more as "I'm not paying enough attention to give you specific advice," but given the circumstances you've described, it does seem possible that they have an agenda for what "yourself" is supposed to entail. I think the key point these people miss is that the people who don't like you for who you are don't matter that much.
"To thine own self be true!" :)
Ryan
See, I hate it when people say stuff like "Just be yourself and everyone will like you for who you are." It's just BS...I mean, there are plenty of people out there that I simply will never get along with, regardless of whether they are being themselves or someone else. Can't please everyone all the time, right? My sense has always been (and I think Ryan covered this) that no-one is better positioned than you to know who you are, how to be yourself, etc. Sure, SOME people may be able to tell when you're pressing, faking it, or whatever, but those will usually be close friends and/or relatives who already love you anyway. Someone who DOESN'T already love you for who you are won't have the discernment to tell who you're being...knaaammeeen?
T
Reading Tim's excellent comment, I had another English-majory thought: Isn't the admonishment to "just be yourself" intrinsically promoting someone else's agenda, since it implies you need to work at being yourself, rather than coming by it naturally? How exactly are you supposed to consciously work at being yourself - unless the "yourself" is coming from someone else's mind?
'K, that's all. I promise.
-Ryan, again
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