Apologies

I spoke to Courtney last night and, in the course of our conversation, found out that she and one of her close friends are starting to speak again. Over the winter, her friend started dating this guy who was pretty much the universal definition of a total jerk. After numerous converstions between Court and her friend about what a negative situation she'd placed herself in, they basically stopped talking because the friend essentially chose the guy over her friendship with Courtney. Now they are going through a break-up and she needs Court's support...and Courtney is there, helping her sort everything out. The catch is that her friend has never offered (and never will, according to Court) any sort of apology for the way she treated Courtney, the lack of value she placed on their friendship, etc. Even though Courtney admits their relationship will never be the same as it was, she is still willing to put this whole situation behind her and be there for her friend.

So this got me thinking...I was praying for them before I went to sleep and this thought just popped into my head: this is what Jesus does for us. We leave him behind in so many ways, both big and small, but when the worldy things we've become infatuated with fail to make us happy, we turn back to him and he welcomes us back lovingly. Do we ever say we're sorry? Do we ever even realize we've done something wrong? I know I don't, not generally. Considering the sacrifice he made for us, we should love him above anything else, all the time, and when we falter in that, we've wronged him, just like the friend wronged Courtney when she chose the company of her boyfriend over their friendship. Does Jesus want sincere apologies from us when we slip away then return? Probably, just like Court wants one. But I guess he realizes, like Courtney, that we are not always going to be able to offer a heart-felt "I'm sorry" in every instance because we don't know we really did something very hurtful. Yet he still loves us. Amazing.

I've had this song stuck in my head that kind of goes along with this. It's by Jennifer Knapp and Shaded Red, and it's called "When God Ran." Part of the chorus goes like this:

And then he ran to me,
Took me in his arms,
Pulled my head to his chest,
Said, "My son's come home again."
Looked at my face,
Wiped the tears from my eyes,
With forgiveness in his voice he said,
"Son, do you know I still love you?"

We are all this blessed. Half the time I don't even realize it and for that, I'm sorry.