West Virginia 2005

We had a bit of everything on this year's AC3 West Virginia climbing trip. We had some sun, some snow, a lot of rain. We had a ton of laughs and a mutiny or two, we had Raman noodles and hobo pies, we had smooth climbs and tricky beasts. We had good navigation and wrong turns, flush toilets and pissing trees, frigid baths and greasy hair. But above all, we had fun!

Mitch and I picked up Gabe from CMU on Friday after work and after repacking the car to accomodate three sets of gear, three people and a cat, we headed down to my parents' house for the night. The weather on Saturday morning was grey, windy and rainy, so we were in no huge hurry and got out of the house by about 9:00 am. The drive took 7 hours and 45 minutes and was completely uneventful. Highlights included being reassured that "Jesus Loves You" by huge letters on a hillside and making animal noises whenever we saw cows or horses on the side of the road. When we got to our awesome camping area, no one was there and it was raining, so we wandered around for a bit before setting up some tarps and our tents.

A word about our campsite: it's awesome. There's this area along the New River called Cotton Hill and there are 3-4 pulloffs where you can park, clamber down the hill, and find free camping areas right next to the river. The West Virginia Authority regulates the place and says, "No alcohol," but the guy who came down to empty our trash every few days just gave us some extra trash bags and told us to hide our bottles because his boss is a real hardass. He also complimented us on the neat condition of the campsite. Let this be a lesson to any of you who may laugh at my anal-ness about picking up all trash before going to bed: it really pays off.

It rained all night on Saturday and into Sunday morning. After a yummy breakfast of oatmeal, we all hopped in our cars and headed for the New River Gorge visitors center, where we always stop for flush potties and fresh water. We decided to wait there for Jon D. and Miriam, who were on their way, and then we headed back towards camp to play around at Hawk's Nest Dam. The rocks, wet from sleet, were a bit precarious but no one fell in the water or anything. When we had enough of the rain/snow mix, we headed into town to catch a movie. No one was super-particular about the film choice, because we were all happy to be indoors, so we saw Fever Pitch, which actually was not as much of a chick flick as I thought it would be. It was very nice to be able to drape my wet Carhart over the seat in front of me and take my feet out of my hiking boots for a little while! When the movie was over, we looked outside and discovered it was snowing VERY hard. And sticking. Not cool. We took a quick trip to Wal-Mart (cringe...I don't like to shop there but when you don't have a choice, well...) for some hand warmers so I wouldn't turn into the ice-woman overnight and drove back to camp, where luckily, the river kept the area warm enough to prevent sticking snow. I think we had Raman for dinner that night. Mmm.

When we woke up Monday morning, there was no snow. No rain. A little sun peeking up over the mountains. Yes! Pancakes maybe, or oatmeal. Probably pancakes, cooked by Mitch and I and definitely amazing, for camping pancakes.

Tangent time. We need to talk about the cast of characters here. Alumni climbers Gabe, Mitch, myself and Jon D., the new grad, were present and accounted for, but Leighton couldn't make it at the last minute. Bummer, because she's awesome and last year she brought a hammock and set it up in camp. We had some of the core club members, including El Presidente Caleb, Jon Naile, Ben Tidman (Tiddy-Man or Ben-Jammin'), Melissa the Amazing (or Studly Mel) and the ever-wonderful Jen Conkey, who incidently did not write "How to BLANK in the Woods." That was Caleb, trying to make it look like Jen wrote it, for whatever reason. We also had Katelyn, who climbed a bit last year but is now seriously improving, her boyfriend Brian, who won the biggest fall award by taking a 12-foot whipper while leading a 5.9 at Beauty Mountain, Miriam, who wasn't climbing due to an elbow injury, and three new freshies: Kali, Joe and Jessica. Later in the week, we were joined by Miriam's brother Jesse and three of his climbing co-workers, Steven and DJ. And let's not forget Ben's dad, Dr. T, who comes on many AC3 trips and is a wealth of climbing knowledge. I seriously hope I didn't leave anyone out.

OK, back to the trip narrative. Monday's destination was Endless Wall, the Freaky-Stylee area or something like that. Dr. T chose it, but his decision left a bit to be desired. See, the only relatively climbable route was a 5.10b but there are at least five of us who are nowhere near 10b climbers, so we were a little peeved to have hiked into an area with nothing to climb. "Oh, everything else will be wet, I'll take you down to a different area this afternoon," says Dr. T, but we don't want to wait, so a small caravan sets out for Kaymoor Slab, which has 5.8 and 5.9 routes. Well, our ability to read the guidebook was not exactly top-notch, so when we got to a point where the trail seemed to end, we thought we were at the spot where the guidebook shows a trail end. Turns out we weren't, but when we went back and asked, Dr. T didn't give us any help at all, so we spent the rest of the afternoon chillin' until I sought the map-reading expertise of Jon D. and found out that the end point on the map was the current crag and that where we thought the trail ended was really just a spot where you had to scramble over some rocks and voila, you were at Kaymoor Slab. Somewhere over the course of these frustrating events, Jen and I decided it might be time for a mutiny. We did not like Dr. T making decisions without consulting the group, or without taking the entire group into account, so we secretly planned a girls climbing day for Tuesday, when Dr. T had planned to take us all to a new area at Bubba City called Tattoo Wall. More on that later, and the subsequent bitterness of our male companions.

We got some good climbs in once we found Kaymoor: a super-long 80-foot 5.9 and a shorter 5.8, both on slab with few handholds and a lot of foot-trusting (slab means there aren’t big holds anywhere…it’s kind of straight up, like a slab, and you use friction to climb it, mostly). I don't mind that as much as, say, chimney climbing, but it can get a bit hairy at times. I suppose I should talk a bit about route ratings for a moment. A rating of 5.0 is a vertical ladder, so say you propped up a ladder against your house and climbed up to clean the gutters. Ta-da! You climbed a 5.0. The ratings go up from there, but you won't really see any routes lower than a 5.4, which is pretty much just a scramble up the rocks. Once you hit 5.10, however, the ratings go 5.10a, b, c and d, and the difference between the difficulty of a 5.10a and a 5.10b is the same as the difference between the difficulty of a 5.8 and a 5.9. The reason for the wackiness, I learned from the insightful Gabriel, is that when climbing shoes were invented, everyone got really, really good, so thy made the abcd system for the harder climbs like 5.11s, 12s, 13s and 14s. The hardest route ever climbed is a 5.15. Boulder problems have their own rating system, but since I'll never refer to it in this blog, I won't get into that.

Anyway, once we were climbed out at Kaymoor, we pulled the ropes and started out hike out. Rather than retracing our steps, which would have taken forever, we continued to hike along Endless Wall until we got to the Honeymooner's Ladder, which is actually a two ladders and a scramble that takes you up the 50 or so feet of the wall in that area. Then we hiked along the top of the wall, back the way we came, but we took the wrong fork at a turn and ended up hiking up a huge hill, tramping through some yards, braving barking dogs and walking down the road until we found the parking lot. Talk about an unneccessary workout!

Though the hour was late, I was determined to take a bath in the river. I was gross, my hair was greasy, and the day had been relatively warm. Well, it was dusk by the time we got back, but Miriam, Mitch, Jon, Gabe and I braved the frigid water anyway and got reasonably clean. The only problem was that I could NOT get warm afterwards. Even the mac and cheese we had for dinner didn't warm me, but after a few hours huddled around the fire, I was OK.

Tuedsay was the day of the Great 2005 Mutiny. Us intrepid females decided to strike out on our own and go to Beer Wall, another section of Bubba City, instead of Dr. T's Tattoo Wall. We didn't want to cause more of a stir by bashing Dr. T, so we had Caleb spread the word that we were not comfortable with the threat of falling rock vs. the lack of helmets in this newly developed area and that we wanted to do that crazy female-empowerment thing. The guys, who felt this was unfairly sprung on them at the last minute, were bitter that we wanted to go off on our own, but I think they got over it. We had a fabulous time despite their reservations about our abilities! Katelyn and I lost our outdoor leading virginity together when she led a 5.5 and I led a 5.6 at the same time. (Lead climbing is where the rope is not already hanging from the top for you. You have to take the rope up with you and clip it to bolts in the wall as you go up, which means there is the potential for some wicked falls.) Mel led a 5.10c called St. Pauli Girl, which is Jen's favorite route, and even I got on that one just for kicks. I'm proud to say I made it to the crux (the hardest part of the climb) but didn't have the skill to get past that point. We climbed hard until lunchtime, then took it a bit slower and were out of there by 4:00 pm. We knew hobo pies (beef, potatoes, carrots, cheese, onions or any combination thereof wrapped in tinfoil and thrown in the fire) were on the menu for the evening, so we stopped at The Store on the way back to camp and picked up the beef and cheese so we could cut everything up and be ready when the guys got back. Little did we know that Caleb and Co. got meat as well, so we had hobos two nights in a row...oh darn! Other than awesome meals and Gabe's run-in with my pocket knife, we had an uneventful evening and everyone slept like rocks that night.

Wednesday was kind of an "eh" day. Mim, Jon D., Kali and Jessica went whitewater rafting, but I didn't envy them because it was kind of chilly and rainy. The rest of us went to Beauty Mountain but there really weren't too many good climbs. Brian led a 5.9 and took that whipper I mentioned earlier, and Caleb did a 5.5 trad route, which means there are no bolts in the wall and you have to set your own protection to clip into as you go along. He then belayed Brian up it from the top, Brian cleaned all the gear (meaning he took it out of the wall) and then Caleb and Brian did a sketchy single rope rappel at the same time down off it. Jen climbed this one monstrously overhung route and fell on the crux, so in order to get back to the wall, she had to swing off a tree that was about 6-8 feet away from the wall, clip a quickdraw to the wall (two caribiners connected by a piece of webbing) and pull herself back in. We ate lunch under an overhang so we didn't get soaked by the afternoon shower and made it back to camp by 3:00 pm. Once again, we had hobos for dinner and spent a good deal of time around the fire, waiting for Jesse, Steven and DJ to show up. When they got there, Jon D. took the three of them bouldering at Hawk's Nest Dam but the rest of us were too tired to join in.

Thursday was the BEST day. We went to Summersville, which is this huge lake with awesome climbs all around it. The section of choice was Orange Oswald and everyone seemed to climb to their full potential. I climbed a 5.8 called Hippie Dreams and decided to get over my fears and rappel down. Now, there’s nothing all that tricky about rappelling. You clip yourself to the anchors at the top of the route with a set of quickdraws, lower the rope halfway down, untie it from your harness and attach it to yourself via a belay device called an ATC. Then you just lower yourself down the same way your belayer would lower you down. Well, the hard part, for me, is the point where the ATC is all attached you and you have to unclip yourself from the anchors. That means you are only keeping yourself from falling with one hand, and then you have to start letting yourself down. For whatever reason, I panicked about that point, but I eventually made it down safely, with some encouragement from everyone below. After that, I took a break and prepared to tackle a 5.9+, which kicked my butt hardcore. The beginning was really pumpy (hard on the forearms) and about 2/3 of the way up, there is a big crack you have to climb up. Well, I'm not a good crack climber...you could say I have a crack problem, haha! About there, I was convinced I could not make it. My grip was gone, but Jen and the rest of the people on the ground encouraged me to press on. After resting for a few moments, I got back on the wall but I had to take (rest on the rope) after every two or three moves. Still, it was a very rewarding climb and next time I hope to do it better!

There were still a couple of 5.8s that Mitch and Gabe had led earlier and I wanted to climb, but my arms were dead after the 5.9+ and I wanted to end on a high note rather than struggling up something I should be able to do easily. So I took advantage of the reasonably warm weather and the nice clean lake and washed my nasty hair. Once I got done, I watched Katelyn work through a 5.10b, got packed up and hiked back to the cars. Because the weather forecast said lots of rain for Friday, we all decided to go to the Pinnacle, which is a multi-pitch route some people climbed with the locals last year. It’s over 100 feet tall and you have to climb up this chimney, about 30 feet, and then there’s a big ledge to hang out on. Then you have to climb up about 15 or so feet on another face while someone belays you from the ledge, followed by a scramble up to the very top. It’s very exposed once you get up the first pitch, and I think all my courage got used up on my scary rappel and difficult 5.9+ at Summersville. I was kind of a wreck climbing the chimney, because I HATE feeling like I’m trapped between two walls of rock. Then I attempted the second pitch but my theoretical balls were not “to the wall” as they should have been. I chickened out but sent my camera up with Mitch to get pictures of the amazing view. I’m actually very glad I was a big wimp in the beginning, because getting down involved a 95-foot rappel down the back face of the rock. By the way, the Pinnacle isn’t a cliff/wall like we usually climb. It’s kind of like three enormous rocks stacked on top of each other.

By the time everyone got up the Pinnacle and back down again, it was definitely dinner time. There’s this restaurant we found last year called Dirty Ernie’s Rib Pit, and it was so yummy that we had to go back there again. This time Jon D., Miriam and Gabe came with us, and we all scarfed down mozzerella sticks, salads and ribs like we hadn’t eaten in days. It was wonderful! Back at camp, we hung around the campfire and discussed plans for the next day. At that point, we had pretty much decided that everyone was going to head home on Friday instead of Saturday. The forecast said there was a 100% chance of rain all day long, so no one was too keen on sitting around wet just to avoid returning to real life.

It took a few hours to pack up in the morning, but it was worth waiting for everyone because we all went out to breakfast on the club. Mmm, Biscuit World! To break up the long drive, we all stopped at Ben’s house in Ohio, where his mom proceeded to cook a monstrous dinner for us! No one was expecting that at all…we were just hoping to stretch our legs, check out the climbing wall Dr. T build on the porch and use the bathroom. I remember walking in, looking at a big bowl of bananas, and thinking, “I wonder if I can have one of those.” Instead, we all got BBQ chicken, hamburgers, cheesy potato casserole, fruit salad, corn on the cob and brownies. Aw yeah! It was OK that we stayed for a long time and didn’t get home ‘til around 10 pm.

A hot shower and a good sleep in a real bed marked the end of our trip. We spent all day Saturday cleaning gear and washing clothes, then we had a nice family dinner and drove to Mt. Pleasant to return Gabe to Andrea. Mitch and I stayed the night there, but we had to sneak Chip into Andrea’s building because they don’t allow pets, even for the hall directors. Back at home on Sunday, it was a little surreal to think that we had to go to work the next day. Being on the trip made us both feel like we were back in college so it was a bit of a jolt to realize that we weren’t.

So what has real life brought this week? Keeping busy at work and preparing for my interview at Alma, mostly. My little presentation is too long, I think, but I’m cleaning it up and am thankful to one of Gabe and Andrea’s friends, who is a current Alma admissions rep, for giving me some pointers. The more I think about this job, the more I think it might be a good opportunity for us. Mitch could easily request a transfer to Mt. Pleasant and we wouldn’t be any farther away from my family than when we were in college. We would be close to Mitch’s parents and we would actually have some friends in the area. As far as the job goes, I think it could give me some good sales experience, which would help round out my business skills. After all, marketing and sales go hand in hand and though I don’t like sales as a general rule, learning the skills to promote something I believe is valuable (the Alma education and experience) would be an enjoyable way to learn about sales. That’s tomorrow morning, so wish me luck!

I love to drive...

I just got back from my interview in Lansing, and I think it went very well. I was there for three hours, about about an hour and a half of that was spent working on some sample projects they had me do. The press release and the editing went fine, but when I turned to my old friend, Photoshop, to create an ad for the CVB, the computer said, "Oh no you don't!" I lost my work once when it froze, and then I could never get it to be unfrozen enough to do more than choose the background color, insert the logo and type the contact information. No photo, no copy, not even the right adjustments on things. No worries though, everyone was aware of the problem, including the IT guy who tried to fix it for me. I just sketched out my idea and left them with a copy of the brochure I made for my senior thesis to prove yes, I am capable of using the software! It will be a few weeks before they start calling people for second interviews, so let's hope they pick me! Let's also hope that my interview at Alma in two weeks goes even better...I get to make up a 10-minute schpiel (sp?) about Alma and pretend to give it to a prospective student, yippee!

Well, you won't be seeing any blogs from me for the next week, because I'll be hiding away in the mountains. Thank goodness...I really need to get refreshed and leave a lot of the recent stresses at home.

Now, a treat for you: the wonderful Jen C. came up with this great list of how to survive in the woods, and I'm sure you'll all need it at one time or the other, so read on!

The following are some recommendations, (all in the name of clean fun), about low impact rustic camping you may or may not be familiar with:

"How do I _____________ in the woods?"

1. Pee

There is of course some gender dimorphism to urinating in the woods. A few things to keep in mind: Guys, don’t cross the streams. Try and make sure you don’t cross contaminate your unit with the poison ivy you just accidentally touched. Try and go far enough away from the campsite so that people arn’t traipsing through your urine puddle. Carrying hand sanitizer with you might be a good idea if your gunna touch other people or their food. Gals, you don’t need toilet paper to pee. Just pop and squat. To make things easier on yourselves you might use a wonderful product called the wizzer. It allows you to pee standing up because it slips comfortably(?) right under the urethral opening and bobs your uncle your peeing standing up. I’ve never actually seen this done before, but the women on the view gave it rave reviews. Another thing to keep in mind is that urine might sometimes adhere to pubic hair, shortening the effective lifespan of underwear. Removing unnecessary "fuzz" from that area would b e a good idea. I suggest the male mach three, its feels like it gives a closer shave.

2. Poop

The key here is control over circadian urges. If you can train yourself to poop once a day in the morning, then you’re golden. We stop for water and flush toilets every morning. If you have to poop in the woods there are two things you can do. The good thing to do is first make sure that you don’t have any unnecessary ass hair for poop to stick to. This seems to be a bigger problem for the guys. There will be some toilet paper laying around somewhere. You have to throw away toilet paper, you can just leave it lying around on the ground covered in your poop, and God forbid you think it a good idea to throw it on the fire. Put your toilet paper in a grocery bag and tie it and throw it away. Outside pooping is really just like pooping on a toilet except more uncomfortable. Just poop in the morning. You could also poop in the river. (ref. Jon Naile)

3. Eat

Keep track of your garbage! Take nothing but pictures leave nothing but footprints. There is a trashcan in our campsite. We pack all our trash out of the climbing areas.

4. Do it

For those of you who might be sexing it up; set your tents up next to Ben’s parents; a safe distance away from everyone else. Used condoms do not go in the fire; nor does any other trash that is not made of paper for that matter. Remember condoms decrease the risk of urinary tract infections, and dangerous STD’s like HIV and children.

5. Menstruate

The coup de ta of the climbing experience. If your going to be riding the crimson tide do not let that spoil your climbing trip. The club has ziplock bags so that used tampons during the day can be slipped into one of those, packed out, and then deposited in the trash. Tampons should be changed every 4 to 6 hours just to be safe and avoid TSS (a very rare condition). Use a pad overnight; there’s a garbage can where we stay. Because we wont be showering or bathing as regularly as we usually do (except for Caleb who will probably bathe more often than he usually does), so take care to respect your vagina if you’re on your period.

6. Sleep

Sleeping in the woods is fun, especially if you have an “accommodating” tent partner. You need a sleeping bag rated to around 20 or 30 degrees. It might get really cold at night. If your bag isn’t rated that low bring a fleece blanket. Pillows are nice but unnecessary. Just put dirty or clean cloths in your sleeping bag bag. First one awake gets to raise hell and wake everyone else up (and get first dibs on oatmeal flavours).

Loyal hearts

My alma mater thinks something of me, after all. Admissions wants to interview me, but let's hope they're flexible, because the message I received said something about scheduling them for next week. Well, next week I'll be living next to a river, spending my days on huge rock walls and nights around the campfire. Maybe they'd be way cool and do it Friday after my interview in Lansing...what a morale booster! And to top it off, I'm going wakeboarding. Tonight. In April. Aw yeah!

Locked Out!

So much to look forward to a week from now! A real interview (not a fake sales one) and heading off to the wonderful New River Gorge. Sigh…I’m going to be off in another world all next week, thinking about all the excitement.

Yesterday, however, was not super fun. I went home at noon to put Mitch’s lunch in the fridge, because he forgot it when he left for Traverse in the morning. When I left, I locked myself out of my apartment. Damn. Luckily, I had my cell phone and apartment manager’s number, so I called and got him to drop off a key for me sometime that afternoon. I live a mile, maybe, from work, so I hiked up to the hospital in my heels (not really very comfortable) and finished out the day. A coworker drove me home, but when I got there, the key didn’t work. So I called Mitch, knowing that he had a dinner meeting in town with a salesman and the investment guy at the Cadillac Fifth Third. No answer, no problem…I figured he just didn’t have reception, so I left him a message. To be safe, I called Fifth Third and had them give a message to the investment guy to have Mitch call me because I was still locked out. I waited in the hall, reading my newest library book, for close to an hour before I decided to take matters into my own hands. Again, in my heels and work clothes, I hopped on my bike and rode into town to the manager’s hair studio. His response, when I told him I had the wrong key, went, “Oh, I was going to call you and tell you that that key is really bad. It doesn’t work well but eventually it will work. Just keep at it.” Grrr. Seeing as I had wrestled with it rather extensively, I rode to the restaurant where I thought Mitch had his meeting. No dice. I learned later he was at Hoffman’s, not Hermann’s. So I rode home, determined to either (a) break the damn key off in the keyhole or (b) get into my apartment. Yeah, it worked. It was a pain, but it worked.

By the way, I’m at work and bored. It’s not that I have nothing to do, I just have nothing pressing to do. And I’m not very motivated to do anything at all. I think I’ll go down to the cafeteria and get something to drink. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Wait, speaking of drinks, Mitch and I have been experimenting with a coconut and some rum because we want to take one down to Caleb for the trip. Last year he wanted to drink rum out of a coconut but all the milk spilled out when it broke and he panicked, yelling, “Quick, pour some rum in it!” This time, we’re bringing it down for him, with a pre-drilled, corked hole so nothing will come out until he’s ready to drink it. I hope he likes it better than us, though. We tried drinking the coconut milk mixed with vanilla rum and it was bad, and we tried eating the coconut after it had been soaking in rum, and that was bad, too. It’s the humor of the gesture that counts, right?

Aw yeah!

Job interview next Friday morning at the Lansing CVB...yay!

Burnin' Up

In case you were curious, here are my current "irons in the fire:"

Admissions Rep for (you guessed it) Alma
Marketing Communications Specialist for the Greater Lansing Convention and Visitors Bureau
Program Coordinator for Faith in Action (in Chelsea)
Community Development Director for the American Cancer Society in Ann Arbor
A host of other random thngs for random companies

The search, of course, goes on. I know you're anxiously awaiting the next scene in my job drama (believe me, I am, too) so I'll keep you informed. The new job responsibilities at Mercy are interesting and fun, but the heater in my office is broken, so I work in a sauna. By the way, that's pronounces SOW-nah, according to big Jonny D. Needless to say, the environment was less than pleasant, but I made it!

On to better things, we leave for WV in nine days! And our new mountain biking gloves from Fox Racing came today, though like a good wife, I'm waiting to open them 'til Mitch gets home. And I had a kick-ass hangboard and pilates workout yesterday so I'm feeling like a ripped chick with super-calloused hands. And I made homemade mac and cheese for dinner and it smells oh-so-good.

Climb on!

We spent yesterday climbing at Alma and I woke up this morning thinking about a certain blue top-roping route and a move I should have been able to do. Obsession? Compulsion? Addiction? By the way, if anyone can tell me what product used those phrases in their advertising, I would be overwhelmingly impressed. Only 12 more days 'til we leave for the best trip ever!

Prayer Request

Two days ago, a close friend's father passed away. He had been fighting cancer for a long time and was very sick. He died at home, peacefully, with his two daughters and other loved ones at his side. Please pray that God will give his family strength at this difficult time.

"For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and seek God unencumbered?"
~Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

Spring in my step

With the beautiful weather this week, I’ve been enjoying bike rides much more than sitting at a computer. I had a great time this winter, with all the skiing Mitch and I did, but I have to admit, spring smells just wonderful. On Tuesday, we went for a really long bike ride after work, down part of the unpaved rail trail and then around the lake. It was so warm and everyone was out, it seemed. When we got back, we had dinner on the balcony and looked out over the lake, which is melting more and more each day. I think when we leave, I’ll miss the view a lot. But we have The Lake, Silver Lake, and my grandparents’ cottage. Honestly, I can’t really imagine a summer without going out there often. It was 10 minutes from my house growing up and Bobby and I practically grew up on the water. When we got older, we’d hang out on the pontoon with our friends, or go wakeboarding in the afternoons, or even just run over for a quick dip after an unusually trying day being a counselor at summer camp. Actually, that was just me. Bobby’s never had a job where he really worked for anyone since he’s such a little entrepreneur. By the way, if you now of any parking lots that need their lines painted on or their potholes filled, Lyon Striping, his business, is the place to go!

Speaking of jobs, there’s not much to report on that front. I applied to some interesting positions: community relations at Barnes & Noble and the American Heart Association, plus an admissions rep position at none other than my favorite liberal arts college of all time! Now I just have to hope someone will call me back. It’s so hard to be patient. Tomorrow is Lauren’s last day at Mercy, so we’re throwing her a party and then they’re throwing me into her office to take over. The few things we’ve gone over so far seem not too complicated, but I’m sure I’ll run into a lot of questions on other stuff once I get started. More than ever, I’m going to have to approach this job with the idea of making it easy for someone to take over. I’ve tried to do that with grants, but we’ll see how well I did when the time comes. And I sincerely hope the time comes sooner rather than later!

Mitch’s job situation is going downhill by the day, it seems. A few weeks ago, he asked his boss when they would actually be making him an office manager, since he’s doing all the duties already. Well, she said she didn’t know what the timeframe was, and he was frustrated, but what could he do? Earlier this week, one of his (outspoken) tellers asked the boss, in front of Mitch, when Mitch would be the office manager, and the boss said they would not be putting him in that position after all. Obviously, Mitch was not a happy camper to hear that. He’s actually started job searching rather than just kind of keeping his eyes open, but an opportunity may have arisen on its own. The family grapevine is always humming, and it was only a matter of time before word got around that the Northerners, the first ones to leave the family area, were thinking about coming home. So my Aunt Shari calls me (by the way, she’s a great, though kind of crazy, lady) this morning to let me know (a) if the rumor was true and (b) that Mitch should call Republic Bank in South Lyon and talk to the manager, her personal banker, about a job. It turns out that in the event that the rumor was correct, she mentioned Mitch to this guy, who she says loves her because her and my uncle’s company, Thompson Construction (yes, we are a family of small business owners, apparently), brings them lots o’ money. Anyway, the guy said yes, have Mitch call or come see him. I haven’t told Mitch the news yet because he’s not home from work, but hopefully he’ll make the call tomorrow at lunch or something. One more addition, though; the guy’s last name is Horny. Yes. Horny. As an adult, I’m supposed to be above immature humor. But come on, could you seriously call this guy and address him as Mr. Horny? I’ve called guys that before, but for obvious reasons!

When I’m not thinking about jobs and moving, I’m thinking about climbing! Only 15 days ‘til we leave for West Virginia! That is always, ALWAYS the best week of the entire year. I am not kidding…it’s even better than Christmas! Everyone here thinks I’m absolutely crazy, except – oddly – the Mary Kay consultant at the last make-up party I got dragged to. She is a climber, too, though with kids she doesn’t get to go as much. She has two kids and was very pregnant with another at the party, but she says she’s climbed ‘til she was about 5 months along with each of them. Aw yeah, that’s me someday…in the distant, distant future…

Just a final note: if you are a Christian music fan, you NEED to get Jars of Clay’s newest CD, Redemption Songs. If you live in Alma, support your local business and go to the Scripture Palace downtown and pick it up. You might be able to preview entire (select) tracks at www.jarsofclay.com. And I believe their next Michigan concert is in August, so if you are interested in going, you can bet Mitch and I will be there!

A full tank of gas for less than 30 minutes

So today I had a job interview in Novi, for a company called the Siler-Milton Group. From their plethora of ads on Yahoo HotJobs, I thought I was applying for a marketing, public relations or events position. With no company website, however, I couldn't learn much more, so I decided to just see what it was all about. I learned if they won't give you some information up front, it's probably best not to waste your time driving three hours for a "preliminary" interview. But I did, and I went, and I interviewed along with another girl. And I found out that I was interviewing for a sales position! (A) Not what I want and (B) something I have no experience in. So the interviewer, presumably one of the boss-men because his last name was Siler, had a super-thick Southern drawl and talked at the speed of light, occasionally stuttering syllables over and over. He asked us a few questions, talked about the job and told us if we made the next round, it would be an all-day interview. He also asked if we would be available the next day...uh, no, I live 3 hours away and have a job that I can't just ditch on a whim. Anyway, after 25 minutes and without giving us the opportunity to ask any of the multiple questions I had for him, he whisked us out the doors and promised to call later that afternoon. Well, seeing as my sales experience is zero, I was safely assuming I would not get called back...which was fine with me because the job is NOT what I am looking for at all. Ha, I underestimate myself. I DID get called back for the next round of interviews and once again, I withdrew my application, explaining that I was interested in marketing communications and public relations rather than sales. The guy said something about believing their employees should learn to sell before they plan a campaign, and I said thanks but no thanks. Now that was worth six hours of driving and a full tank of gas!

Epiphany

I think it’s partially the weather that has me so optimistic right now. Yesterday we had sun, blue skies and 50-degree weather. Today is the same formula, but I’ve been hearing 60 degrees. Oh, heaven! I love winter and the snow, but I’m ready to breathe the fresh spring air. Mitch and I have been biking for the last three days in a row, and it looks like today will probably be number four as long as he gets out of work at a decent time. Over the weekend, we went to my parents’ house and attempted to ride the trails at Island Lake, the state park a few miles from the homestead. Less than a mile into it, however the trail turned to complete snow and we ended up making a quick exit back to the paved trails. Even on Easter, we couldn’t stay away and went back to Island Lake with all intentions of staying on the pavement, but at the back of the park, we saw one of the trails that didn’t look too bad, so we took it knowing the trailhead was less than a mile away. Once again, as soon as we got a decent way in, everything turned to one big sheet of ice. Amazingly, we both made it out without crashing, though there were some close calls.

And speaking of Easter, we had a wonderful time. We went to the church that is sponsoring a family friend, Kristen, in seminary (the same one I visited in Louisville about a month ago) and got to see her and her family. Then there was the biking and a family dinner with my grandparents (mom’s side), my uncle Chris and my cousin Jonathon. We spent the afternoon digging up all the old dirt on the various grandsons, such as who got this MIP and that MIP and who has used Chris’s legal services for what purpose. My poor grandma! She thought most of her grandchildren were absolutely perfect…but it was great for a laugh. After dinner, Mitch and I headed to Alma for Chapel so we could hear Christine preach one more time. It was such a wonderful, creative service and afterwards we got to meet Pete’s parents. His dad gave us a good piece of advice which was especially relevant because we had been discussing our current situation with the jobs and wanting move on the way there. He told us that he regrets settling down with one company so early and advised us to “have a bunch of different jobs and move around.” See, on the way over, we were laying out the pros and cons of staying in Cadillac or pushing forward with this moving thing. Depressingly, all the practical pros encouraged us to suck it up and stay another year or so, so we could have some job security, save money, etc. etc. I was kind of feeling like it was becoming a viable option to do what all of you have been telling me to, which is to apply for the job here and leave once I found something better. Still, though that is the easy, practical route, my conscious was having trouble with that. And the more I thought about it, it would be a short-term solution fraught with risks, ironically. As I was discussing this situation with Lauren yesterday, I brought up the fact that grants are not really going the way the board anticipated them going when they hired me. They assumed there was all this money out there that we could just get for the hospital, but what they did not realize is that no one is going to give them money just to run a hospital. To make improvements, yes, but not just for day-to-day operations. Consequently, though I’ve generated over $40,000 since I’ve been here, most of it has been for the free clinic, which is a separate organization the hospital supports. Granted, that money means that the hospital won’t have to pitch in for those expenses, but that’s an indirect benefit. So what I’m getting at is that I can really see them taking a look at grants again when the next round of layoffs comes and saying, “You know, it would make more financial sense to contract grants out and not keep someone on staff.” Result: new full time combined community relations/grant writing position becomes half time community relations position and I’m back where I started.

All that to say, after getting a dose of hope from the inspirational Chapel service and hearing Pete’s dad’s advice, I was feeling more comfortable with our seemingly impractical course of action. Then I came to work and was discussing it with Lauren, who provided me with another interesting point, one she heard from the head of HR during her exit interview: what would you do if you were not afraid? That sparked some clarity of thought! If I were not afraid, I would follow my instinct and ditch this place. And if I trust in God, I don’t have anything to fear, so I should act as if I were not afraid (even if I am).

P.S.

1. I'm officially the "filler" for the community relations/grantwriting combined job until such time as they hire someone else, which probably won't be 'til May.

2. My cousin Rosie did not get the job for which she was interviewing so the coveted marketing position at the Art Center is still occupied.

3. Everyone thinks I'm an idiot for not applying for the combined position and/or making it so clear that we want to move since that's the reason I can't apply. Live and learn.

4. I like subbing in third grade classrooms.

5. I'm grumpy, emotional and feel like telling the real world to pucker up while I pull down my pants and bend over.

6. It's Holy Week...my focus should be on something greater than myself right now.

Daddy's Girl

Does anyone else feel that, after talking to your father, all logical reasons you had for a particular course of action are immediately thrown out the window because he can quickly identify those impractical, irrational "feelings" that are the core reason you want to do something? And, after listening to a long, lengthy monolgue that, unfortunately, makes complete sense, you are not so sure your rational justifications are enough to make up for the fact that you're being more emotional about a situation than you were raised to be? Therein lies the danger of being a daddy's girl.

More analysis

Ryan, you're right. I went through that exact same line of thinking and it would not really be an option to apply for the position and then ditch it once I found something better. In my conversations with Bryan yesterday, he said outright that he would expect me to unofficially commit to being there for a year or two. Oddly enough, when I called my mom, she took a very un-mom-like stance: that they hired me on in a full time position and I expected to stay full time, but then they cut my hours in half, so I don't really owe them anything. Ultimately, it came down to "they screwed you so go ahead and screw them because it would be in your best interest." I think she's just upset because this is happening to her daughter, but it's weird to hear such a hard-ass standpoint from the woman my dad, brother and I call "St. Joan." But I told her I could not do that, because they really could not control the situation that led to my part time status and they cannot control this situation, either. From a business standpoint, I don't stand a chance here but on the flip side, if they didn't run this place like a business, I'd be disappointed in the management. Maybe that's why they're in this crappy financial situation in the first place, I dunno. Anyway, I felt physically ill from the time my boss told me all this yesterday until Mitch came home and I could talk to him. I sat on his lap and cried and told him I was scared. He gently reminded me that we would never be in a situation we could not handle and that if we make the wrong decision, we would just make a batter one next time. Well, me and wrong decisions seem to go hand in hand when it comes to my career. It was deciding not to take the Chamber job in TC that put me at the mercy of Mercy (haha, get it?), who subsequently realized that they made a mistake in hiring a full time grant writer (which I could have told them after less than a month of work). I guess what this all comes down to is that I'm afraid that the decision Mitch and I have already made - that I'm going to take my chances and not apply for this new position here - will turn out to be the wrong one and I won't be able to find anything else. I'm afraid we won't be financially secure anymore (every business major's WORST nightmare!) and that, pridefully, I will end up taking a job for which I am overqualified. Oh, that darn pride...I know
it's wrong but I can't seem to overcome it.

To top all this off, I'm at work right now and I have absolutely nothing to do until about four different people get back to me. So I'll just get to sit here and think about it, and probably bug people with emails about it, until noon. Isn't St. Patrick's Day supposed to be fun? Today is not fun at all. On a brighter note, though, I get to do my weekly volunteering at the United Way this afternoon...too bad I haven't had time yet to make their newsletter template. Hey, I bet I can do that on the clock here! All right, project time!

Not again...

It seems more difficult decisions are looming on the horizon. I suppose I should be used to them now, at least in the context of job-searching, because I turned down the awesome opportunity at the TC Chamber, then closed the doors on two promising opportunties recently by withdrawing my application after the first round of interviews. So here's the situation: Lauren, the communications specialist here at Mercy, got a new job and will be leaving on April 18th. Bryan (my boss) and I have talked previously about the possibility of transitioning me back to full time and into a position where I would take on some of Lauren's responsibilities and keep doing the grant writing thing while he took over the rest of her job, like working with the media, etc. After telling him I was unable to give him a firm commitment one way or another, I let him know on Tuesday that I was probably going to be leaving because Mitch and I decided to go look heavily in the Ann Arbor area and move as soon as we could. This was when he anticipated having Lauren until July 1st, but she got the new job offer today, which changes things. Let me try to explain: his preferred course of action would be to bump me up to full time next week and have me work with Lauren to transition into her position as a filler for the rest of the month. Then, at the beginning of April, he would like to post the position, which would be some combination of communications and grant writing, and start the hiring process. At this point, I could apply if I was interested, but more than likely I would just fill in until the new person was hired because I am not interested in staying here. That would be a fine plan for me, though I'm not sure how our budget supports bumping me to full time while Lauren is still here, but whatever. Under this model, I would probably be assured a position here until about the end of April (which is my self-imposed deadline anyway) because the hiring process would probably take 4-6 weeks. The hard part is the fact that the final decision on all that is not up to Bryan. He has to meet with John, our CEO, on Monday and fill him in on the situation. From a business stance, it would make the most sense for John to tell Bryan that he has to post the position immediately and have it filled by the time Lauren leaves. That would mean I would not be used as a filler, which is fine, but it also means that I would be out of a job once the new person is hired, which would probably be by mid-April. To be safe and conservative, in that situation, would mean that I should apply for the position and commit to staying here for a couple of years, which is not what Mitch and I want. But I'm a safe and conservative type o' girl...this poses a bit of a dilemma.

I've seen how fast, and how slow, jobs can progress. It took 3 months for me to get hired here, but Lauren got called for an interview on Thursday and had a job offer by Wednesday. That's less than a week. Could something like that happen for me? I just don't know, it's a gamble. On the other hand, I'd been counting on being gone, in one way or another, whether it was in a temporary job or a good job, but July.
Maybe I'd have to move that up a bit and stop being picky right now. But isn't not taking advantage of an opportunity that I'm almost guaranteed to have here being super picky? The only thing is, I would have to unofficially commit to staying here for a good length of time and if I took a boring, office-type job, I could roll out when something better came along. Argh!

All my problems would be solved if the place Rosie, my cousin, recently interviewed at would just offer her the job and Marsha at the Art Center would remember how much she loved me and hire me to take Rosie's place. That optimistic feeling I had when Mitch and I decided moving would be a good choice for us is quickly fading into panic as I struggle with the what-ifs and uncertainties.

Silly

Maybe I'm a goof, but I always use a folder from Alma's Discovering Vocation program to keep track of my job search stuff. It's kind of inspiring, to think of it in terms of finding my vocation, my calling, rather that just a job. Hmmm.

Decision Enforced

It's Monday morning, my day off, and I've kicked the Southeastern Michigan job search into high gear. Mitch and I spent the weekend at my parents' house to celebrate Bobby's 21st birthday, which, by the way, was a riot. Armed with $90 from my parents, we took him and his friend, Pat, to the South Lyon Hotel, Screwie Louie's and finally, the previously-trashy Rhino Dance Pub, which actually was not all that bad. See, the Rhino used to be this skanky place called Rascal's and it's kind of a joke to say you're going there. But after a number of drinks, Bobby thought it was just a GREAT idea, so at about 1:30 am we were heading over there. He definitely did his fair share of drinking thtoughout the evening, but the best part was the "pre-party" with our grandparents, two of whom did a shot with my brother to celebrate. It's way funny watching your 80-year old grandpa toss one back while your 84-year old grandma sips on a shot of SoCo. Aw yeah.

Another high point of the weekend was climbing at Planet Rock with Ross. When we told him we were thinking of moving back, he said, "So how long do you think it will be? Because I don't think I can wait very long!" My grandparents were happy we were considering it and of course, my mom was thrilled. As the weekend progressed, it turned into a "not if, but when" thing for Mitch and I. We're really just not fitting in up here and think we'd be happier down there.

But enough blogging...I need to scour the Internet for jobs, so off I go, on a new adventure.

A Major Decision

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately (yeah, like that’s news) and most of it had to do with my job, Mitch’s job and our future. Let’s try to work out the progression here. Last week Mitch got sent to Traverse City to “get more experience” in one of their branches. Well, he hated it. He did less there than he did in Cadillac, had less responsibility and basically spent most of the week working in the teller line. Now, he’s been performing all the duties of an office manager at the Cadillac office but has not actually received the promotion yet, which was starting to grate on him a bit. They’ve been telling him for months that he would be the new office manager, they wanted to transition him in, blah blah blah, but they’ve been in no hurry to do so. As this is brewing, he has that crappy week in Traverse and kind of gets a taste of what it’s like for me to really not like my job. Those two factors also kind of crack his commitment to Cadillac; when he started, he felt they were really committed to moving him up, etc., but with all the stalling, his sense of loyalty to them is weakening.

Now right about this time, the thought pops into my head that when my cousin Rosie gets her new job, I should apply for her old one, which is the marketing director at the Ann Arbor Art Center. I interned there a few summers ago and the president loved me, so I think I’d have a good shot getting it, with all my experience. Problem: it’s Ann Arbor and Mitch would have to get a new job, too, even though it would probably still be with Fifth Third. Encouragement: Mitch had already been scooping out other 5/3 opportunities after being a bit unhappy about his current situation. I kind of let it stew in my brain for awhile. In fact, I let it stew all weekend (while I was in Indiana) and when I came home, we sat down after dinner and talked about it.

At this point, I kind of knew I wanted to go home. Though Mitch is my best friend, I was lonely for my family, missing my friends and discouraged about meeting new ones here. But I didn’t want to come on really strong and pressure him or manipulate him into getting what I wanted, so we started talking about what we liked about living up here. We were both enthusiastic about all the outdoor recreation – mountain biking, lake, skiing – but I pointed out, and Mitch agreed, that we could have that if we were back down where my parents lived. Skiing not so much, but we’re traveling every weekend as it is. How bad would it be to go up North for a few weekends for some skiing? Plus we could climb more. So that took care of recreation and kind of showed us clearly that, though the natural atmosphere up here was a perk, it was not really enough to base our future plans on.

Next came the whole people thing. We talked about how we know our friends, even those who have graduated and settled down, will be scattered all over the place. But it’s pretty unlikely that they’ll scatter up here, unfortunately. We’ve also discovered that the opportunities to meet people our age here are very, very slim because there are no young people in Cadillac! And those that are here never really left, so we’re pretty different from them, especially in likes and dislikes. They also have their own group of friends already. What kind of surprised me was the fact that I work with a girl who graduated a year ahead of me and moved up here without knowing anyone, too, yet she hasn't made any effort to introduce me to any of the people she hangs out with or help us get used to the area. But that's just a little tangent.

Of course, we discussed the fact that job opportunities are really scarce up in this area, too. In fact, we talked about a lot more things and in the end, we pretty much decided that if I got a job in the Ann Arbor area (we don't want to go east of Novi, because that equals city which equals pretty much horrible) or thereabouts, we would go. I've already applied for two jobs (one at Borders corporate office and one at the Chamber) and will spend my days off next week doing hardcore research. It's more time consuming than looking in GR or TC because I had already identified companies, etc. when I was doing my fresh-out-of-college job search, but at least I know where to start.

So that's the plan for us. Let's see how it unfolds.

Kentuckiana

First of all, thanks to those of you who commented on my last post. It’s always really good to hear when people are feeling similar ways or have a different perspective on the situation.

And speaking of friends, I took a nice mini road trip with Adrienne and her boyfriend, Kyle, last weekend. I left Cadillac on Thursday after work, some frantic brownie-making and a meeting at the United Way, and headed down to Grand Rapids. Instead of going right to Adrienne’s, I dropped my car off at Bobby’s and got some dinner with him before heading down to Higher Ground for some badass climbing. Now, I don’t know if anyone reading this has ever been there, but Mitch and I fell in love with the place on Valentine’s Day 2004 when we joined AC3 for a climbing comp down there. There are three sweet rooms: one with some top roping and the other two strictly for bouldering. There are overhangs and features and all sorts of craziness, all packed into a pretty sketchy warehouse. The atmosphere at the comp was, of course, awesome, but it was just as good this time, just on a smaller scale. Miriam’s brother, Jesse, was working, and we convinced Miriam and her other brother to come down and climb with us. Anyway, we bouldered for about three hours, all the way ‘til close. Everyone else there was so friendly…such a contrast to Planet Rock in Ann Arbor, where you other climbers barely acknowledge your existence. At one point, everyone in the place was packed in the back room watching each other work on about three different routes. It was so much fun, but I killed my fingers, forearms, shoulders…you name it, it was sore! My fingers were so swollen I could barely put my rings on when we were done!

Now after climbing, I was somehow supposed to meet up with Jenn to get together for coffee or something, but the late climbing plus my lack of a car plus my brother’s desire to go party-hardy with his buddies meant that wouldn’t really work out. I did, however, go with Miriam and Jesse to a bar to meet Adrienne and her roommates who were out celebrating a birthday. All in all, the evening worked out well and I work up the next morning ready for more adventure. We drove about five and a half hours down to Nate and Amanda’s and as soon as we got there, they took us to this park in Louisville right along the river. It was kind of strange because there were roads and bridges and skyscrapers all around us, but we had fun throwing the Frisbee around. It made me miss my brief days on Ultimate Frisbee on the Chapel Lawn!

That night we went out to dinner at this pizza place called Wick’s, then went to an Irish pub called O’Shea’s to hear some cover band. Now, I’m not a bar person, as most of you know. I like going out every once in awhile and I like to dance if it’s a dancing-type place, but otherwise, I hate the smoke and the drunks and the obvious non-accidental body contact. Ew. Anyway, to make the situation better, I called my friend Kristen who is attending seminary down there. She’s the daughter of my parents’ friends and our families always cut Christmas trees together. So she and I sat in the back of the bar for most of the night, nursing drinks and chatting about all sorts of stuff. She took off around midnight and I was more than ready to go, too, but we probably didn’t leave for another 45 minutes or so.

The next day more than made up for the bar torture. We went into Kentucky and did some hiking in a really cool park. I was just a bit bummed that we didn’t play more on our hike. It seemed like everyone else was all into “how fast can we do this” and I was like, “Oh, look at the tree that’s fallen across that ravine! Opportunity for adventure and possible injury, let’s go!” I suppose that is partly Mitch’s influence on me, but partly a carry-over from my childhood, too. Oh well, it was nice to be out of the city and breathing the fresh air. I should note that it was really warm down there, compared to up in C-Town. It was probably about 40-45 degrees on Saturday and way warmer on Sunday, but I’ll get to that in a minute.

After our hike, we made some dinner. The whole food thing was annoying almost all weekend, because it was constantly, “Well, will Laurie like that?” They all thought I was weird because my tastes are simple and meaty amongst lactose intolerant vegetarians and their trained significant others. They spent a bit too much time teasing/lecturing me about my unwillingness to “branch out” and my minimal vegetable consumption. But I didn’t starve, nor did I cave. Beef…it’s what’s for dinner! Sorry for the tangent…anyway, much to my relief, we did not go barhopping Saturday night. Instead, we played games. My first experience with Trivial Pursuit was a hugely positive one and I think I might be hooked, as long as I have a partner. We also tried out This vs. That, a group game Santa got us for Christmas. It was pretty fun and so was another one called Would You Rather. Now, I remember Would You Rather as being something we did at sleepovers in elementary school: “Would you rather kiss so-and-so or what’s-his-nuts?” “Ewwwww, I don’t know, that’s gross!” Same idea here.

Sunday was probably my favorite day of all. The sun was shining, the sky was blue and we spent a good four hours in another Louisville park and walking around town. We also went to church in the evening, a community one for younger people called Sojourn. It was pretty much like Chapel, only the music was less acoustic (the only real strike against it, as I’m still pining for good ole’ Chapel Band). Afterwards we hit up this place called Café Lou-Lou’s for dinner, where we ended up entertaining the bartender all evening. He was a pretty cool guy, gave us some breaks on drinks and even turned on The Simpson’s at 8:00 pm. Needless to say, we gave him a monstrous tip.

And that was the end of my trip. We went to bed early on Sunday, got up at the butt crack of dawn on Monday, and drove back to Michigan. I had a lot of fun but I was way glad to get home and see Mitch and Chip. Yes, I missed them both a ton! Thankfully, we have no other plans to spend extended weekends apart for a long time!

More on that...

I've gotten some interesting reactions to my previous post, so I think I'll expand on it a little bit. To do so, I'm going to use parts of a couple of emails.

From me to a good friend, in response to her comments about my post:

"Everyone has been asking about that blog entry...it's actually something I've been praying about lately. It's weird, there are people who I feel so close to because communication with them is open and two-way. Not surprisingly, those who I am closest to, for the most part, have graduated and are going through the same challenges I am, which makes us lean on each other for support. They are also the ones who are, in their own ways, more isolated from family in some instances, but from friends for sure. You guys are the people I don't lose touch with because we need each other and want to keep our friendships going, even when there's some geographic distances between us. You are also the ones, I think, who are less likely to assume a person has changed just because their situation has. Case in point: no one who's graduated has really made a big deal about the fact that Mitch and I are married now. Granted, some people have also gotten hitched, but you don't think, or don't seem to think, that just because my engagement ring has an extra band attached to it, I'm somehow different. I think that's because us grads are all going through so many changes, whether they are in locations, jobs, relationships, whatever, and that makes us more willing to see those changes as normal things that don't really alter us as people or change the essence of our friendships. For those who have not graduated, however, I think they see both Mitch and I in a different light and think that because we're married, our friendships are somehow different. Mostly I've just heard flippant remarks that may not really mean anything, but sometimes the things people say are so pointed and come out so often that there has to be something to them. Those are the misconceptions that really hurt.

The part about forgiveness kind of stemmed from a sermon I recently heard at Mitch's parents' church. The minister was talking about God's love and how it's not fair: by all rights, most of us do not deserve the love and forgiveness that God gives us. Despite of all our misdeeds, he's right there when we ask him for forgiveness, ready to love us and look beyond our past mistakes. I recently had a friend who hurt me with her indifference, retreated into a shell and really seemed to want nothing to do with me. But when the time came and she needed someone to talk to and lean on a bit, she came to me and I managed to be there for her. She's never said she was sorry, never really asked for fogiveness for pushing me out of her life, but I could feel she needed that from me anyway. I realized that, in a fair world, she would not deserve to have my support because of her past behavior. But God didn't design things to be fair...he's not fair, he's unconditional. So, if we are trying to emulate Jesus's love, we should be willing to set aside past hurts when someone comes to us. Much easier said than done, butin this case I've been able to do so, knowing full well that, when these crises pass, there's a good chance she will drift away until she needs something. That's just the way it is, and I've accepted it this time."

From good friend to me, in response to my email:

"I COMPLETELY understand. And I feel almost like I just continually try to ignore the feeling, hoping that it will someday go away. You know the whole, "someday things will be back to normal" attitude. After graduation, I felt like I lost a huge connection with friends who did not graduate, that connection being Alma and college in general. They may not voice their thoughts on how we are different, or even realize that they do feel differently, but in reality, we ARE looked at in a different light because we don't share the one thing that brought us all together. Granted, I know some of my deepest relationships I formed at Alma with people younger than I will last, but it is a struggle to understand and accept that it is different. And although people may say things that are a tad offensive and kind of hurtful, deep down we have to remember that they are probably struggling, too... struggling with the fact that one of their closest friends has moved on to the "real world", and that soon enough, they will too. I think my its hard for us to find commonalities with people who are still living in the bubble... and yet, despite the lack of effort from some, we still try.

I've also come to realize just how important the friendships I have with others who graduated with or before me are. I mean I have learned to appreciate the emails, the random phone calls, the lunches when a friend is "in the area." I think they are nice little reminders that life isn't about always having the ones you love so close in proximity, but rather close in your heart, and treasuring the times you DO have with them."

So there you go...and by the way, to the person who sent me that email, if you'd rather not have it up here, just let me know and I'll pull it off my blog. I just thought you did a really good job expressing what I've been feeling lately.

So let's see what you all think.

I'm starting to learn. I'm learning that even if friends push me away, shove me out, stop including me in their lives, I can still remain open and available when times get tough. I'm learning I can let go of grudges and past hurts and I've found that doesn't make me weak or a pushover. I've found friends ask for forgiveness in many different ways and the only way to give it is by doing so beforehand, because I'd probably never recognize the request at the time. But I've learned that the pinpricks of misconception can become a festering sore and I haven't learned how to completely heal it, yet.

I'm learning just a few experiences can define how I feel about people, gauge how I will know them for years to come. A spontaneous activity, a disagreement resolved, an unforgettable conversation. a hug in the midst of crisis, a kiss on the cheek on a joyful day. An offer to help, a willingness to pitch in when called upon, a peal of laughter, an unexpected phone call, an expression of encouragement. These things bond me to people, to friends and acquaintances, to those in my life forever and those in my life for just a short time. I'm learning - learning slowly, but learning all the same.

A Day in the Life

Today has been a very full day so far. I left for Traverse City at 7:30 am for an 8:45 am hair appointment. Why would I drive over an hour just to get my haircut? The answer is simple: she-mullets. There are too many horrific haircuts walking around Cadillac to take a chance on one of these little shops, so I bit the bullet and made an appointment at a true salon/spa, as recommended by a stylish family friend in TC. Anyway, within about 10 minutes of my drive, I realized my washer fluid was not coming out of its squirters like it should, so I stopped at a gas station to check out the situation. I didn't really have time to do much except see if there was any snow or ice clogging them, so I just kinda washed off my windshield (it was one of those drives where you're washing your windshield about every 5 minutes, especially if you're behind someone else) and got back on the road. The hair appointment went well, I think, so we'll see if this new style suits me or not. Then I did a little shopping: picture frames for wedding pictures, a birthday present for my brother's 21st birthday, some new shoes at a store where I had a gift card and a wedding card. Then, like I do every time I get hungry in TC, I went to Big Apple Bagels for a snackeroo. Mmmm, cinnamon crumb muffin and coffee...nothing could have tasted better at that moment, except maybe a Cinnabon cinnamon roll and a mocha latte. Next time I'm at Twelve Oaks in Novi, I'm getting one of those, for sure! Anyway, after visiting PetSmart, discovering that sucker fish would eat my baby fishies and finding out that laying in a litterbox is normal, if somewhat gross, behavior for a kitten, I headed back home for a crappy drive, given that I could barely see half the time without being able to squirt off my windshield. A call to my father went: "It's probably the pump." A call to my brother went: "Check the fuse." A call to my husband went: "Come to the bank and I'll look at it." The final verdict: Mitch and Gary will be thoroughly examining the situation and probably replacing the pump this weekend.

Now I'm back home (obviously) and getting ready to put some chili on the stove and clean the apartment. Tonight we'll be skiing at Caberfae with Gary and whoever else shows up and then Gary is staying at least the night with us. On Saturday evening we have to go to Mitch's grandpa's house to have a family get-together with his aunt who is flying in from Georgia, so it should be fun to meet yet another crazy DeYoung. All right, I guess I should get going on that housework!

Cupid Strikes

Flowers from the far-away hubby = Happy Laurie
They may only be here because he felt bad about disappointing me earlier, but they are here nevertheless, with a very sweet note to accompany them. I am a very, very lucky girl.

Better

Please disregard the last post...I'm feeling better now, the pity party's over. You know how some days you are just dejected in general, often for no good reason? Well, yesterday was one of those days. But I'm better now, just slightly bored rattling around my apartment and trying to keep my butt off the couch. Or away from the computer. Guess that means this post is at an end!

:(

Whoever invented Valentine's Day sucks. It's just another chance for men to screw up and for women to be disappointed.

Single for Heart Day

Yup, some more single time! Tomorrow morning Mitch is headed to Matt's for a guys' weekend that will probably involve some poker, beer and...well, I won't speculate much more, I don't think. I kind of tried to get some girls together to even the score, but I didn't try very hard because my parents are coming up again for Bobby's last race at Crystal. It will be nice to have them up here but I'm missing my friends again.

So after the weekend, Mitch has to continue south for a bank-related class in Southfield. He'll be gone 'til Wednesday, which means we are celebrating our first married Valentine's Day apart. I'm a little bummed, but we probably wouldn't do anything really special because it's during the week. Not like last year, when we went to a climbing competition with AC3. That was probably one of my favorite Valentine's Days ever! Yeah, I know it's kind of weird to enjoy such a romantic holiday with a bunch of sweaty, swearing climbers all choking on chalk dust, but it really rocked!

Well, the morning is winding down so I better get this place clean and ready for company. I haven't told Mitch, but we're having a pseudo-Valentine's Day dinner tonight. I'm making a roast, breaking out the fine china and digging out some candles. I'll probably even put on something pretty, instead of the t-shirt I'm wearing right now. Actually, it's a darn cool t-shirt...it's green and says "My Man Mitch" on the front in big white letters. My friends from Indiana got it from the Republican candidate for governor, whose name happens to be Mitch. In fact, the back sports a web address (www.mymanmitch.com) and the tagline, "Paid for by the Mitch for Governor campaign." Cool, huh?

Work Blog

I haven’t blogged at work in a long time, because we’ve been nice and busy. And actually, I do have some work to do but my frustration level is a little too high to worry about revising my latest draft of a proposal for the free clinic. In the past two days I have definitely managed to piss off two people because I had a differing opinion from them and they are *always* right. Grrrrrs all around today. Without getting in to too much detail, one woman decided to hold her “superior” knowledge of all things business over my head and tell me that because I was “just” a business major I couldn’t possibly know anything about marketing because they were two separate things. I saw the fruitlessness of putting up any more than minimal resistance to that completely untrue fact and made a hasty exit from our meeting that was, incidentally, unrelated to my future career path. The second woman has been sitting on paperwork needed to receive grant funds from our local community foundation for 4 months, without my knowledge, and has now basically decided that because they did not give her the full amount, she isn’t going to use it at all. Double, triple, quadruple GRRRRRR! I was PISSED and tried to get her to come up with a way that she could adjust her program and do it with the money available, but she kept going on and on about how she couldn’t do ANYTHING without an assistant and that if she wasn’t going to offer them money, no students would be willing to come help her. Since the foundation doesn’t pay for wages, she’s S.O.L there, but she absolutely refuses to believe that any student would come and volunteer to help teach little kids about the dangers of smoking. HELLO, RESUME BUILDER! CONTACT-MAKING OPPORTUNITY! Far be it for me to disagree, being only a year removed from these students’ situations, correct? Anyway, I left it at, “You really need to send the paperwork up to the fund development office because we need to know what’s going on with all our grant requests,” and reported to my boss. I think he was even more pissed than me because he is very concerned about relationships in the community and is worried that (a) the fact that she doesn’t want what the community foundation has offered and (b) that she’s sat on it for so long will negatively affect our chances for more funds from them.

Phew, felt kind of good to get that out. It’s like these people have one way to do things and are not willing to try anything new or different. For pete’s freakin’ sake. OK, I’m better now. I’ll probably get all worked up again over lunch, when I relay the grant story to Mitch (he heard the business vs. marketing one as we did dishes last night) but for the moment, I’m slightly calmer.

A swingin' single weekend

Yup, I've kicked the Cadillac dust off my heels and headed home for the weekend...sans husband. I think it's funny that, now that we're married, we choose to spend more time apart. This weekend we had both planned to go to my parents' house so we could tell the wedding photographer what pictures we wanted in our album, get some computer glasses for me from my competent eye doctor (as opposed to seeking the services of the incompetent one in Cadillac), find me a dress for Mitch's sister Christa's wedding and go to my cousin's baby shower. A combination of factors made Mitch decide to skip out on accompanying me: (1) All that stuff is GIRLY; (2) My dad is going up to Cadillac to watch Bobby ski and they could do manly things, like go to the North American Snowmobile Festival, grill steaks and drink beer; and (3) If he didn't go, I could leave on Thursday after my half-day of work and spend some extra time with my family. So I set out some stuff he could make for dinner, cleaned up the apartment, did the laundry, changed the oil in his car, packed up the kitty-cat and drove home, alternating between singing country (I know, I think it the hickish-ness up there that's making me belt out, "But what was I thinking?"), listening to NPR and catching up with old friends via the miracles of cell phones. Yee-haw baby!

So starting tonight when my dad leaves, it's a girls' weekend! Since Mom is at the gym running on the treadmill right now, I've just been enjoying a rare breakfast of grapefruit and coffee and a chance to update my blog from a nice, slow dial-up connection while my puppy dog snores on a pile of laundry and Chipper the cat snoozes in the doorway. Ahhhh, home.

Making Progress

Well, the part time life is not so bad. Since my last post, I've experienced some great things. First, when I knew I was going to have more time on my hands, I contacted the united Way in Cadillac and offered to volunteer for them and help with marketing. I'm working with the executive director to create a communications plan, which many of you may think sounds kind of dull. I, however, love it and can't wait 'til I can find someone to pay me to do that kind of work! I'm also getting more proficient at this "networking" thing and accompanied a friend of my father's to a United Way meeting in Traverse City. Turns out he was asked to be on one of the allocations panels and pulled some strings to get me invited to participate as a non-voting member. Also turns out that the VP at the Traverse City Chamber of Commerce is on the same panel, so I will be able to keep strengthening that connection.

All this is well and good, but what about the fact that I am only making half as much money as before? Well, aside from making a more conscious effort to stay on budget, I also signed up to be a substitute teacher. If they ever actually call me, I should be able to make some extra dough. But yes, I'm also looking for a "real" job. I had an interview with a management consulting company in Traverse City called Dewar Sloan and though it went well, it doesn't seem to be the right fit for me. I already took a job when I was a little less than enthusiastic about the day-to-day functions of the position and I don't want to do it again. I know what I want and I want to find it - or I at least want to find something else that strongly appeals to me, if that makes any sense. And I do have a possibility, which may have something to do with my reluctance to accept anything that may be offered by Dewar Sloan. The United Way in Grand Rapids is hiring a senior marketing associate and I'm sending my application in today. Now, some of you may be thinking, "Isn't GR a long way from Cadillac?" Yes, it is. But Mitch and I have discussed it extensively, as a good married couple should, and we agreed that we can clear the hurdles that would be necessary should I take a job down there. Mainly, it would involve moving, using the crock pot for dinner more and having Mitch inquire about transferring within six months to a year.

Frankly, as much as I want this job, I'm having trouble asking Mitch to shake up his great situation so I can have a new job. Putting myself in his position, I think I would feel a little resentful and he's admitted that there may be trace amounts floating around. But I believe him when he says he wants me to be happy and that making me happy will make him happy. I know we need to consider the future implications of our actions but I think we need to not get too far ahead of ourselves. At this point, I think it's anough that we have identified some possible challenges and committed ourselves to overcoming them should they present themselves.

On another note, I want to say to many people (you know who you are) that I'm so glad we have stayed in contact since graduation. To those of you who are making your way through the post-Alma challenges, I'm so glad we are able to do so together, even if "together" only means that we read each others blogs and emails and are reassured that others are experiencing the same things. To those of you still in school, thanks for not forgetting about us! Every day I miss college less and less but you are all never far from my thoughts and prayers. Yes, I know that was very sappy, but I want to make sure you all know how important you are to me.

And with that, I'll sign off for today.

New situation

You’re going to read the following statement and you are going to think it’s bad news, but really, it’s got more silver linings than anything else. As of next week, I’m only working part time at the hospital. We’re in a poor financial situation (which, by the way, is kind of interesting because when I was hired a mere six months ago, everything was downright peachy) so they had to make a bunch of adjustments. Four people got laid off and almost everyone had some sort of hour reduction, pay cut or added responsibility. Since I’ve felt for some time that my position should have been part time in the first place, and since I was kind of prepared for this, I was not really upset when my boss called me into his office to tell me. The conversation basically consisted of him telling me, apologizing, and telling me how bad he felt, and me reassuring him that it was fine, that I understood and that I really was OK with it. He said I handled it well and that he was prepared for every reaction except the calmness I displayed. So you’re thinking, where are the silver linings? Less money, how is this good? Read on, my friend.

Silver Lining #1
This gives me more time to job search and make connections by volunteering. You know I’ve been dissatisfied and on the look out for some time, but I can really concentrate my efforts now. I will have more time to schedule interviews and can be more flexible.

Silver Lining #2
It will be WAY easier to tell my boss when I’m leaving than it would otherwise. Even though I have been unhappy here, the people are great and I was kind of dreading the day I had to tell Bryan I was taking a new job. I also felt a little sneaky about it. Today, however, he encouraged me to use him as a reference (though he said he really doesn’t want to lose me as an employee) and said he would write me a great letter of recommendation. So that’s a bonus.

Silver Lining #3
I will probably be more productive at work being on a limited schedule. Those of you who remember my crazy college schedule, especially senior year, can attest to the fact that I was happiest when busy and accomplished the most if I had more to do than I should have technically had time for. How else can you explain the ability to plan Climbing Club kids’ classes, Homecoming activities, SIFE marketing materials and events, a senior thesis, the dreadful Global Business course, etc. etc. all at the same time?

Silver Lining #4
I’ll be forced to apply for a wider range of positions than I would have otherwise. For example, I found an ad for an office manager at a title company last week, which I’ll probably apply for. I didn’t even know what a title company did until my cousin explained his job to me over Christmas. I’m organized…maybe I’ll like a job like that. Anyway, the main point is that I might find something I really like that I’d never even considered before, or I could at least learn something new by interviewing at different places.

Silver Lining #5
I’ll stop feeling guilty for not having enough to do at work! It was kind of nice to get paid for planning Mom’s surprise birthday road rally and the majority of my wedding, but really, that’s not exactly right.

There may be more that come up, and I’m sure over the next few weeks and months, there will be times when the negative of not having as much money as before will pop up and stress me out. But I was strong through one of the hard parts, which was getting the news. I know that strength does not come from within me but rather from God and I also know that I can rise to this challenge because he is standing by my side, as always. I know I need to keep that outlook no matter how frustrating things get, and I will try my hardest. I’m so thankful for a supportive husband and whole crew of family and friends who will be keeping their eyes open for me. (You’ll keep your eyes open for me, won’t you?)

Skiing party on the horizon

Well, it’s Friday and I’m at work, wishing the time would just go faster! Once again, I have found myself with nothing to do for almost an entire afternoon. I’m feeling very guilty about it but there’s really nothing I can do. I would go visit one of my coworkers but they are probably busy and chats have been “discouraged” as of late. So I’ll try to while away just under an hour blogging.

Last night Mitch and I went skiing at Caberfae because we got a ton of snow Wednesday night and Thursday during the day. It was crazy out there…first of all, skiing in powder, especially the kind that tends to chunk up like last night’s, is way different than taking on the groomed runs of manufactured snow/ice. Thanks to my single year as a high school ski racer and the influence of my brother, I enjoy skiing “racer style,” with big, sweeping turns, graceful transitions from edge to edge and a ton of speed. Last night, the snow said, “I don’t think so, wannabe.” I definitely went back to the short, choppy turns of old, trying to keep one ski or another from getting caught under the piles of snow that made every run look like an emerging mogul field. I never truly fell, but I ended up backwards a few times and off balance quite a bit. And I got a great workout! After every run, even as short as they are at Caberfae, my quads were feeling the burn and I was breathing a bit hard. Granted, a few seconds sitting on the chairlift made both signs of exertion disappear, but I still think I got something out of it besides just an awesome time.

I like skiing with Mitch, even if he is a snowboarder! We are working to change that, though. For the past two Christmases, Mom and Bobby have been buying him skier gear – Swix and Spyder hats and a half-zip shirt, mainly – so now he’s got this “cross-between-‘em” look going on. This year, he finally admitted the twisting motions associated with snowboarding are starting to hurt his knees, so we are going to spend the next week accumulating ski gear for him. Bobby has an old pair of Rossignol Rascals at home that we can use, and he’s going to pick up a pair of bindings for them. We’re going to see if Mitch can fit into Bobby’s old ski boots but if not we’ll be dropping some cash on those as well. By the time Bobby comes up next weekend, he can mount the bindings and Mitch will be a two-planker-wanker.

Speaking of next weekend…I’m pumped to be able to report that it’s going to be an awesome party! Here’s the thing: Alma’s Adventure Club, under the insistence of me, Mitch and some other dedicated skiers, got into the habit of taking advantage of Caberfae’s student rates on Friday night. So I thought, let’s invite some of our friends to come and stay after a night on the slopes and we’ll make a weekend out of it, a la Jon Davenport on a smaller scale. I had no specific date in mind until Bobby decided to skip out on a long drive to Mt. Ripley for a college race and come to Cadillac instead next weekend. Oh yeah, perfect opportunity! Bobby gets along awesome with our friends so I started inviting. So far it’s Matt, Gary, Pete, Roberta, Kristy and possibly her brother. I am still waiting to hear from some people, and Jon will also be up at his place, so I’m sure we’ll all hang out at one point, for sure Friday night at the mountain. It’ll be a tight fit in our apartment but I’m sure we can manage, especially now that the Christmas tree is not taking up a ton of room anymore. When Adrienne and co. were here, that thing was kind of in the way. We broke the rules by having a real Christmas tree and I’m glad we did, but I sure was happy to get it taken down. It was a Scotch Pine, very pokey, very sappy. Enough with that, I’m getting a good old Douglas or Concolor Fir next year!

Hey, I think I just found something to do. We have to take these courses online here at the hospital and the new ones for 2005 just got put up. I think I’ll work on those for the last half our or so. Maybe I’ll be back to blogging, but maybe not. Eh.

The Christmas-New Years-Back to Work-Blog

It’s the start of a brand new year and I do have some resolutions, but I’ll keep some of them to myself. For starters, though, I resolve to keep a positive, open-minded attitude while searching for a new job. It is disheartening sometimes; after all, I had a whole week off work to job search, yet I didn’t find anything until Sunday evening. As Mitch pointed out, no one wanted to hire in December with the holidays, but hopefully things will pick up. I am a bit nervous, though, that I won’t be able to find anything up here. Most of me really wants to find something here so we can keep trying to make a go of this up North thing, but part of me sees a benefit in looking elsewhere. There are more options, for one thing, in Grand Rapids and even down by my parents. Yes, I know I have been saying for years that I do not want to live there: too much urban sprawl, not enough open space, can’t see the stars at night, etc. But part of me, kind of a significant part of me, wants to be closer to the people I love. I miss my family most of all…they are stable and are not going anywhere for awhile. I miss my friends, most of whom are either in their first jobs, which many say are dissatisfying like mine, out of the state/country (you know who you are!) or still in school with no solid plans of settling anywhere. I guess what this all boils down to is wherever I am, I’m going to be missing someone, particularly those of you who are globe-trotters. But here, it seems like I miss everyone because there’s no one here. For practical reasons, though, moving would not be a good option I guess. Mitch enjoys his job and is still in training, so I don’t think they’d be too happy about trying to relocate him in another branch. I would feel bad about uprooting him just for the sake of my own career, but I think he would move if I couldn’t find anything up here within a decent amount of time.

Let’s move on to something more pleasant – Christmas! Mitch and I drove down to my parents’ house on Friday after he got out of work, dropped of Chip and went to my cousin Rosie’s house in Livonia. She and her husband, Chad, just bought the small brick house about a year ago and have been doing a ton of work to it, so it looks great. It was, however, a little small for a group of 27-odd loud, rowdy McGraths. First excitement of the evening: my Uncle John Ravida goaded my 20 year old brother into having a beer, which was uncomfortable for him to be doing in front of my parents, but all right in the end. Second excitement of the evening: my father cornered my cousin Joe in a spare bedroom and sat him down for a “talk” about whether or not he was stoned at my wedding (Cousin Joe has a history of drug abuse and trouble with the law) and about the importance of staying clean since he now has a wife and a baby on the way. My Aunt Mary, Uncle Chris and Mitch were all stationed in the hallway timing the event – it went over 20 minutes – and reminiscing about my little cousin Dayna’s “talks” with my dad when she would throw temper tantrums. Apparently Aunt Mary still uses the threat and it works. Anyway, when we got home, Dad said the conversation went well, that Joe was not stoned at my wedding and that he admitted he had done some bad things but really wanted to change now. Third excitement of the evening: someone forgot to buy my cousin Dan a Christmas present. We draw names because there are so many of us, but somewhere in there he got lost. I would have liked to be him, though; he made out like a bandit with some ski clothing and $50 from various people who felt bad about him getting skipped. Fourth excitement of the evening: when we got home, we discovered a rather plentiful smattering of blood on the wall in the hallway, right about doggy-nose level. Turns out the dog my parents were watching, an energetic black lab named Casey, probably antagonized young Chipper a little too much, resulting in a swipe of the claws across her nose. For the rest of the evening, they were very wary of each other, but it got a lot better over the rest of the weekend.

On Christmas morning, we woke up and did the traditional present-opening, complete with a tray of Christmas cookies (since Santa no longer gets them, I guess we eat his share before breakfast) and Christmas music. My mom, as usual, hits the stores with a vengeance and got us all some Spyder gear for skiing along with the traditional Christmas ornaments and calendars. She also got us clothes (Express for me, Marshall Fields for the boys) and got Mitch and me each a Camelback for mountain biking and other adventurous pursuits. One of my favorite gifts, though, was this year’s Santabear, who is a ski patroller complete with a Saint Bernard puppy. When I was in eighth grade, all I wanted form my little boyfriend was a Santabear, and he dragged his mom all over southeastern Michigan to find one a few days before Christmas. Can you tell I’ve always loved those fuzzy white bears?

Here’s a side note about gifts: I felt a little guilty getting so much for Christmas. After all, Mitch and I have been opening gifts for at least two months, with all the showers and then the wedding. We got so many wonderful things, more than we need. I just keep thinking about one of the songs on the new Caedmon’s Call CD, with a lyric that goes, “But the TV’s always on and the phone it won’t stop ringing, and these bills they keep on screaming, to pay for all the things that I never really needed.” I have so much that I don’t really need (I like and appreciate everything, though!) and there are people who barely have the things they absolutely need. I don’t believe we have a legal obligation to make everything equal in society – hence the Republican voting tendencies – but I believe we have a moral obligation to help those in need. Does that make any sense?

Back to the Christmas narrative, we spent the rest of the morning eating a wonderful breakfast and cleaning up in preparation for another day of festivities. This time it was my dad’s side of the family – a calmer, quieter, significantly smaller set. The best part about this get-together was that my older cousins, Todd and Ryan, were home from Arizona for the holiday. They are both in the mortgage business so Mitch spent quite a bit of time talking finance with them. I spent a lot of time sitting there, trying to decide if it was better to a) continue nodding absently; b) join my dad and Uncle Beau in a discussion about beer; or c) help my mom and Aunt Linda with the dishes. I’m ashamed to say I continued my absent-minded nodding while letting my mind wander to other things.

After the Eccles crew departed, Aunt Mary and Dayna showed up with more gifts. I should explain the special bond we have with them: my Uncle David died when I was in seventh grade, about a year after they had Dayna. We’ve always been close to them, but since his death, we’ve played a huge role in their lives. We watch Dayna when Aunt Mary goes on vacation and my dad fixes, builds and hangs things and does whatever else needs to be done around the house. Because of this, I think, they always bring us gifts aside from the big family celebration. We always get Dayna a gift, too, but everyone in the family does because she is the baby and the light of all our lives, I think. Anyway, they hung out for awhile before heading home and we called it quits around 11:30 pm.

On Sunday, Mitch and I left earlier to meet Matt in Lansing for lunch. When we were at Alma, we always made an effort to go out to dinner together to celebrate the holidays with all our friends, but this year it just didn’t work out. They planned a New Years Eve party, which we couldn’t attend, so we thought we’d at least see a few people the day after Christmas. It ended up just being Matt, because Sumit was sick. I was bummed that we didn’t get to see Sumit because he is going to med school in Dominica so we never get to see him, but we are trying to make plans for another time. Anyway, lunch was great and we even stopped at Alma on the way home to see the new dorm they are building. It looks great but kind of out of place amidst the older buildings.

Yes, I still miss Alma. I hear Shaking Tree music and miss climbing. I think about finding the job of my dreams and miss SIFE. I smelled spring the other day, when all our snow melted, and I missed walking around campus. We talk about camping and I miss the Adventure Club. I look around my apartment and I miss the simplicity of a tiny single in Bruske. I go to a new church and miss chapel probably more than anything. But then I look at my husband and I love that we are together in a way we’ve never been before. I hear about my friends’ new jobs and accomplishments and I know we will change the world, maybe just in small ways, but change it we will.

OK, sorry for the tangent. Those are probably more interesting then the narrative, though. Anyway, on Monday I called Mitch in “sick” because he hadn’t used any sick days and we wanted to go to Traverse and trade our Best Buy gift cards for a new surround sound system. On the way, we dropped off my skis so I could get my new bindings from Mitch mounted in anticipation of some skiing later that week. It was a successful afternoon of shopping and we even got everything all hooked up by dinnertime. On Tuesday I ran a bunch of errands, cleaned, unpacked, etc. etc. and found out that we would have company for dinner on Tuesday! Yay, Jeff, Carla, Minda, Derek and the kids would all be descending upon our apartment on Wednesday! I spent most of that day cooking and cleaning and looking forward to having people there, and the evening was everything I hoped. Next time, though, I hope I remember the potential consequences of having Italian food with three children under the age of four!

Thursday was great and disappointing. Great because Adrienne, her boyfriend Kyle, Amanda’s husband Nate’s sister Danielle and Danielle’s boyfriend Adam all came up to go skiing. Disappointing because the weather was rainy and warm and we didn’t ski. Great because I got more picture frames from Pier 1 and sour gummy worms from Target. Disappointing because the movie we saw, “Closer,” sucked and I think I was the only one who hated it with a burning passion. Great because I got to have dinner company again. Disappointing because the first batch of chili burned in the crock-pot while we were in Traverse City. Great because everyone loved Chip. Disappointing because no one wanted to watch “Aspen Extreme.” Great because my best friend was there. Disappointing because sometimes I feel more like myself around friends Mitch and I have made together, like all the ones from Alma.

New Years Eve brought a virtual heat wave…it was so warm I grabbed my bike as soon as my friends left and headed out for a nice ride around the lake. Let me tell you, the wind was blowing right in my face as I rode south! It was super strong and almost blew me right off the path and into the lake! But when I turned the corner and started heading back north, it was one of the fastest rides of my life. Exhilarating. Probably the only description. Anyway, when I got home I discovered that our wedding pictures were online, so for anyone who wants to see them, go to www.pictage.com, make a username and password and search for “Eccles.” So after I browsed through the pics, took and shower, packed and cleaned up the apartment, I took off for Big Rapids where I met Mitch at work, parked my car in a safe spot and headed to his parents’ house for the family Christmas celebration. I was bummed that we wouldn’t be able to go to Matt’s for New Years with the Alma crew, but it turned out to be a really fun evening. We all got some very nice gifts, and Christa’s fiancé was definitely pumped that we bought him a blue and green hammock in Mexico. The three kiddos were fun and crazy, and after they went to bed, we all got a little crazy ourselves over a card game called Nertz and then a game of Scene It. We continued the craziness on Saturday by riding quads on Grandpa DeYoung’s property and even venturing into his dilapidated barn. Also, we got to see “Ocean’s 12” that evening in Alma…very good movie, I might add.

On Sunday we came back to Cadillac to a kitten who was oh-so-lonesome. He was such a cuddler, letting me hold him an extra long time and purring like he would never stop. I hate to leave him home alone because he’s such a social cat, but I don’t think we’ll be taking him to Mitch’s parents’ house because (1) he doesn’t get along with the cats Carla has started letting in the house again and (2) the noisy, unpredictable kiddos scare him.

So now it’s back to work, which is as dissatisfying as ever. I actually have some projects to work on but it’s hard to get motivated and actually do them because my heart is not into it. I have very few new job possibilities right now, but I am looking hard. I applied for a director of membership services position at the Chamber of Commerce in Cadillac and I plan to apply for a job at the Grand Traverse Regional Land Conservancy. Actually, I kind of just want to get in front of them, even though the position is just for a receptionist and it’s only about 30 hours a week. But, they are a neat organization and they have staff positions that appeal to me. If the Ann Arbor Art Center is any indication, nonprofits tend to turn over their staff quickly because the pay is not the best, so if I can get an interview with them and they like me but I won’t make enough at the receptionist position, maybe they will keep me in mind for future openings. That works: I applied for a job at the United Way of Muskegon County this past spring and though they didn’t hire me, they called me a month or so ago because they had a new position open and they liked me. I’m attempting to set up some volunteering with the United Way in Traverse, but nothing has come of it yet. I’m wondering how that would work with a fulltime job down in Cadillac, but we’ll see. And this week it’s time to get in contact with the Traverse City Chamber to send them an updated copy of my resume and contact information. So I guess things are progressing, slowly, but I am not the most patient person and really want something to happen soon.